Showing posts with label March 2019. Show all posts
Showing posts with label March 2019. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Articles Welcome to Issue 67 - WATNOW Reset



Issue 67 – Reset

Articles
WATNOW: Reset

Big Finish Reviews+
Missy Part 1
The Fourth Doctor Series 8B
The Diary of River Song Series 5

Who Reviews
Scratchman Audio Version
Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos
Resolution

Interviews
Seren Whyte

Connections
Mrs Caldicot’s Cabbage Wars
Old Jack’s Boat
Fresh Meat

Profiles
Bessie
The Brethren
The Blessing
Baltazar: Scourge of the Galaxy

The Whoniverse Round-Up
Sarah Pinborough
Olivia Colman
Peter Capaldi


Editor’s Note

It takes a fair bit of time to shake off the Christmas overload of Biscuits and cakes and junk food and plough yourself back into the daily grind. Although the sudden warm weather has helped chase the blues away and kick start the mojo and writing again. That burst of energy and inspired thought that put Chapter Two of Return to the Fold together, almost became something to behold, had something not put the dampeners on that a few days later. Ha well!

Chapter Three will materialise in Issue 68, but am pleased, while the mojo was firing on all 4 cylinders, I did manage to put some words together, yay!

Can I just say - Congratulations to Olivia Colman for winning an Oscar the other night for her performance as Queen Anne in the film The Favourites. Absolutely fantastic!

We’ve been working through an alphabet of Profiles again this month, this time starting with the letter ‘B’, and it’s surprising during the research just how many bad guys have been the ‘scourge of the Galaxy’.

Joshua Weevil is also a scourge of the Galaxy, along with every other chocolate bar he manages to get his hands on when nobody is looking!
Seriously, I can’t take him anywhere!

We’ve got a wonderful interview with Seren Whyte, who you may remember from the episode Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Those of you who follow our Facebook Page, may notice we’ve been posting photos of Seren and her sister during their Rallying tours. Go give them a follow and look out for their rallying blogs/vlogs, they’re really cool.

In case you were wondering where our Doctor has been, we managed to locate him recently at the London Comic Con, where he caught up with a few other incarnations of the Doctor, and the lovely Mister Master, John Simm, as well as catching up with Jim Wilkins, who designed the wonderful comic versions of ourselves – Torchwood style!


If you think you have a story to tell about a journey you took to a Who related event, or went location hunting, or if you have a story up your sleeve to share on our Fiction page. Or if you want to share a review of a film by a Who or Spin off writer, or stars one of your favourite Who/TW/SJA cast, then why not drop us a line – find us on our Website page, or over on Twitter and Facebook.

So, without much further ado, welcome to Issue 67 – Reset

Djak



Articles WATNOW: Reset by DJ Forrest





Reset brought the Torchwood team to the Pharm, and Professor Aaron Copley, after UNIT discovered a high population of deaths in and around South Wales, namely the Cardiff area, with unexplained needle marks in victims’ eyeballs.

When Martha Jones goes undercover as Sam, on a clinical trials program, she suddenly realises just what is going on at the Pharm site and doesn’t relish the mayfly larvae currently growing inside of her. It seems her travels with the Doctor, gave her the perfect breeding ground for Copley’s new wonder drug – the Reset. 



Freema Agyeman

‘Dr Martha Jones’


‘The parasite needs a healthy body until it's incubated. So the parasite egg incorporates this magic bullet, which puts everything in the system back to its factory settings.’



Before her role in Torchwood, Freema was known to us as Dr Martha Jones, companion to the Doctor and she travelled with him for 20 episodes. After Who, Freema played Alesha Phillips in Law & Order: UK between 2009 and 2011. In 2014 she played Larissa Loughlin for The Carrie Diaries. If you're a CBeebies fan, or if you're a parent of a child who enjoys watching the show, you'll remember Freema from Old Jack's Boat where she played Shelly Periwinkle, a mermaid. Incidentally, you might like to know that we're covering Old Jack's Boat in our Connections this month, where you might find a further few interesting facts. Between 2015 - 2018 Freema played Amanita Caplan in Sense8 and is currently playing Dr Helen Sharpe in the TV series New Amsterdam.

Alan Dale

‘Professor Aaron Copley’


‘She's survived the larval stage. The only subject ever to do so. It's fascinating. Turns out these bugs practice sibling cannibalism. Only the strongest individual is left now. God knows what happens next.’

Since Torchwood in 2008, Alan Dale has never stopped. He's been a character in more shows, films and short videos than I've had hot dinners. After Torchwood, in the same year, he played General Ross in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (not a film I ever really engaged with, if I'm honest, and Dillon Casey and I will agree, that it most definitely wasn't an Indiana Jones film).


In 2009 Alan also played a character in the Law & Order franchise, this however was the Special Victims Unit as Judge Joshua Koehler in the episode Liberties. For 17 episodes of Lost from 2006 - 2010, a series I got into then well and truly got lost in the whole set up of the show, Dale played Charles Widmore. He played Ken Bocklage in Burn Notice in 2010. Jumping to 2008 and he played John Ellis in Entourage for 5 episodes till 2011. He plays Detective Isaksson in the film The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I remember jumping about like I had ants in my pants when I saw him, much to my Mother's annoyance. She was deeply engrossed in the film at the time.
.
Dale played Councilman Rockwell in Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014.  Was the voice of Frank in Top Coppers in 2015. For 9 episodes of Once Upon A Time he played King George and Albert Spencer until 2017.

I was a little surprised to find Dale had returned to Neighbours to appear as Paul Robinson's Dad, a man who had seemingly died of a heart attack. As I hadn’t seen the episode where he returns, I was pleased it wasn’t in a shower sequence like Bobby Ewing from Dallas. Instead he was immortalised in a Christmas bauble hanging from the back window – as you do!

For 44 episodes of Dynasty, Dale plays Joseph Anders from 2017 - 2019.


Jacqueline Boatswain

‘Plummer’


‘Break out in Zone A. All patrols to Zone A immediately. 'Breakout in Zone A. Break out in Zone A. All patrols proceed with extreme caution. The escaped creature is extremely dangerous.’

Having just seen Boatswain's character in Hollyoaks walk away into the sunset with her son Zack after playing Simone Loveday for 246 episodes, it's nice looking back on where it all began, or at best, where I remember her from. After Torchwood, Boatswain played Turley's solicitor in Silk, Kathy in The Importance of Being Whatever, played Patreesha St Rose in Shameless for 9 episodes in 2013. Was the voice of many in the Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag video game a year later, as well as Valeria in National Theatre Live: Coriolanus.


Creeping ever closer to her role in Hollyoaks, Boatswain played a collection of characters in the long running afternoon medical drama Doctors from 2001 - 2014. I remember spotting her in Bad Education as a school Governor, and more recently as Victoria in Wolfblood - who doesn't like that series? Last year Boatswain played Monique in the tv series Collateral, and Jane in Cuckoo, as well as voicing another video game, this time, World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth. But it was a sad farewell from Hollyoaks where she'd played Simone Loveday from 2015 - 2019 that many will remember her for, but the question remains, will she ever return to the village?


Jan Anderson

‘Marie’


'Too good to be true.  I had HIV. That's the Reset. I got it from the Pharm. It's a medical research place, all right? They gave it to me. They paid me a lot of money. They said I should to keep quiet about it because it was part of the contract.'


Since playing Marie in Reset, Jan has played small roles in many familiar television series' and film such as Curb Your Enthusiasm as Stella, a Customer in Trollied, Sharon in the movie Porridge, two different characters in Doctors and returning to play Sharon again for the tv series of Porridge two years later. She played Jemima Kidd for two episodes of Emmerdale in 2018 and is currently filming Next Door as India and rumoured to be playing Emma in The Middle Man currently in pre-production. Take the Lead, as Rachel, in a movie for television has just been completed.

Rhodri Miles

Billy’


‘I work for the Pharm. They'd been giving people this Reset drug, but there were these side effects. Parasites or something. They were gonna die anyway, so I had to get rid of them before any weird symptoms showed up in public.’


Since Torchwood, Rhodri has played a number of characters mainly for Welsh television programmes, such as High Hopes in 2008, Alys in 2011 and Hinterland in 2013 in part two of Devil's Bridge as Neil Amos. His last credit was in 2014 as First Mate in Game of Thrones episode The Laws of Gods and Men.



Michael Sewell

‘Mike’


‘Well, he used to be really clean. He reckoned he had to be careful about what went into his body because of his diabetes.’

There's not much written for Michael Sewell after Torchwood, apart from playing Eric Benton his The Bill character in TV Burp from 2008 - 2009. No idea which he is in photo, but only one I could find. 


John Samuel Worsey

‘Policeman’

‘Body was found early this morning. Caucasian male, early twenties.’


I've found nothing for actor John Samuel Worsey after Torchwood in 2008 when he played the policeman in Reset.


Natalie Danks-Smith

‘Elin Morgan’


Natalie Danks-Smith is no stranger to the Whoniverse as her credits show that she played not only the 3rd Sibyline Sister in The Fires of Pompeii but also played an Auton in the Doctor Who episode Love & Monsters - which means I'm going to have to rewatch that episode to work out where in that episode an auton appeared. Unless it was a flashback.

Since Torchwood, and since her Doctor Who appearances where she was uncredited in all three roles, I hasten to add, Natalie has played Lydia Hoggart in Doctors a year after Doctor Who, Duchess of Kent in Upstairs Downstairs in 2012 and played Jack's Mum in We Are the Freaks in 2013


Martin Fox

‘Security Guard’

 (no photo available)

As an actor, Martin Fox played his first character role in Doctor Who as a UNIT soldier in The Sound of Drums in 2007, uncredited. After playing a plain clothed officer in Mistresses, again uncredited, he returned to the Whoniverse to play three roles in Torchwood from 2006 - 2009. A Fight Club Doorman in Combat, a Security Guard in Reset and a Custody Officer in Children of Earth: Day Five. I'm seeing a pattern regarding roles, as Fox played a Police Officer in the Thor film The Dark World in 2013 as well as DS Fraser in Line of Duty (brilliant series) a year before.

More recently he ditched the police uniform in favour of a white coat and stethoscope as a psychiatric Doctor in Father Brown episode The Three Tools of Death in 2014. His last credit was as a Henenlotter Police in My Bloody Banjo in 2015.


Michael Llewellyn Williams

‘Barry Leonard’


In 2007 before his role as Barry Leonard in Torchwood, Williams played a Slab in the Doctor Who episode Smith and Jones - couldn't tell you which one though!
He was an assistant director for Doctor Who episode Flatline in 2014. Worked as a floor runner for 12 episodes of Atlantis from 2014 - 2015, was assistant director for Da Vinci's Demons in 2015, has worked from floor runner to assistant director for many popular television series, including The Crown, Downton Abbey, Taboo and The Halcyon, as well as Set PA for Queen film Bohemian Rhapsody in 2018. He's also crowd third assistant director for 3 episodes of The Little Drummer Girl mini series in 2018 and currently in post production, was Crowd 3rd Assistant Director for The King in 2019.




 

Big Finish Reviews+ The Syndicate Master Plan Series 8, Vol 2 by Tony J Fyler



Tony’ll be over here in the corner, weeping like a loon, if you need him.

Oh boy…

When we left the Fourth Doctor he was busy being killed by a relic of his remote past – or at least a relic of his remote past: the next generation, in both a moment of personal vengeance, and an advancement of the plans of the mysterious ‘Syndicate.’ We still had very little by way of concrete evidence of what those plans might be, but they involved a planet familiar to the First Doctor, some deeply overgrown plant life, and some truly demented goings-on in the name of science.

Time’s Assassin, by Guy Adams, takes us briskly on from there, giving us more of a clue as to some temporal shenanigans, ssssort of killing the Doctor and having him have to negotiate and rebel his way back to the land of the living and oh yes – revealing something utterly mind-boggling about his new companion, Police Constable Ann Kelso, from 1978 Earth.

You’re gonna want to strap in for this one.

Time’s Assassin allows for some characters – in fact, for many characters – to reveal the full extent of their almost moustache-twirling madness and grotesquerie, and some of the cast grab that opportunity with both hands (special hat-tip to Blake Ritson as Elmore on that score), and you’re left with a sense of something in the Caves of Androzani/Vengeance On Varos mould, in that nice people, even vaguely redeemable people, are desperately thin on the ground, leaving the Doctor, Ann and of course K9 seeming bright and shiny and lovely by comparison.

Except – for the reasons that make you strap in – you’re going to be worried about the future.

Fever Island, by Jonathan Barnes, is one of those classic ‘We’ve got an ongoing crisis here, but let’s take time out to do something completely different’ episodes. The plans of the Syndicate might be gathering pace after the events of Time’s Assassin, but here, the Doctor and Ann find themselves on a remote Scottish island, with plot-narrating secret special agent Jason Vane, who’s trying to stop the evil Okulov in his tracks while mugging to the imaginary camera and being casually sexist. What this is of course is a love letter to the ITC dramas of the Sixties and Seventies, from The Avengers to more blatantly outrageous fare like The Persuaders and Department S, while acknowledging the absurdities of the sub-genre as it goes. Along the way there’s a gas weapon of mass…oddness, the Doctor turned bad, the power of imagination and some affectionate jabs at the stereotypes of strong-jawed secret agent heroes and their sexist and overly confident swagger through their fictional lives. Fever Island is a detour from the dark plotting of the Syndicate, but precisely because it takes us away from the internecine, double-knotted convolutions of that organisation, it’s probably the most fun and the quickest listen in the set. Dark fun, to be sure – but fun nonetheless.

And then, it’s eyes down and no stopping for a two-part, two-hour finale to the Syndicate storyline, The Perfect Prisoners by John Dorney.

Erm…

There’s not really any way around this. John Dorney’s gonna break your hearts. However many you have.

He’s not going to rush to do that though, he’s going to give you quite the black and white space-drama serial, updated with newish (to us) virtual reality technology and a touch of meta-fiction, as things that may have happened may possibly have happened before, and the world or indeed the cosmos as you experience it might not in fact be the way it ‘really’ is, if any such concept can be said to be valid. There’s some gloriously savage metaphor in here, in slave worlds which, in the blink of a distracted eye, seem no longer to exist, and the reality of what’s going on feels slippery under your feet for some of the journey of these last two episodes. There’s also, it has to be said, a reveal that you should, and might, guess in advance, but which will nevertheless make you gasp when you reach it. There’s redemption, and choosing sides, and winning through in the end.

And then…

And then there’s the end.

Y’know? The point where he breaks your hearts. You might be ready for it when it comes – and the cunning devil’s taken that into consideration too, and has a character speak your rational Who-fan arguments back at you.

They’re no good. They won’t fly. He’s going to break your hearts.

So…yay. There’s that to look forward to.

The Fourth Doctor Series 8B has more of a frantic, elevated pace to it than 8A did – as you’d expect of the second half of a series arc, where strands are drawn together, surprise reveals keep you guessing and – not that I’m bitter or anything, but – your heart is utterly, utterly broken at the end. If you bought 8A, you can’t possibly go through the rest of your life without knowing how it all turns out. Guaranteed, it’s not going to go how 8A led you to believe it would. And if you haven’t got 8A yet…you’re going to want to do that. The combined Series 8 is an episodic hymn to long ago with new colours, new ideas, Jon Culshaw playing half the cosmos, Tom Baker on fine, multi-faceted form and a great new companion from Jane Slavin. It’s the story of what might initially feel like a gang of also-rans, after the Big Bad has left the scene, and how they go about proving their villainous potential. These are villains with points to prove, scores to settle, civilisations to enslave and Time Lords to extermi- I mean, to destroy.  They’re more ghoulish and vicious than you might imagine, and they allow the Fourth Doctor and Ann Kelso to tread old ground in a new, fresh, friendly style, while they give you an adventure you can’t possibly miss.

Big Finish Reviews+ Missy, Series One by Tony J Fyler



Oh Missy you’re so fine,

You blow Tony’s little mind…

Michelle Gomez’s Missy was one of the brightest and best innovations in villainy of the first ten years of New Who. That she would eventually make her way to audio was a conclusion that for many fans was foregone.

But Missy is not in any sense an easy proposition when she steps out of the light of the Doctor’s opposition and takes centre stage. Like the War Master before her (and for all we know, other Masters after), the trick with Missy is to make her as successful as she deserves to be without making everything a cake walk. She has to have her dramatic arc, but yet she has to triumph in her villainy.

This first collection of Missy adventures gives her plenty of gracenotes by which to distinguish herself in audio both from any other incarnation of the Master, and from the white knight syndrome of the Doctor, while sneeeeeeaking a story arc up on you quietly, just in time to go ‘Boo!’ and make you jump out of your skin.

A Spoonful of Mayhem, the series-opener from Roy Gill is a thing which must have seemed absolutely irresistible, given Missy’s trademark outfit and brolly – it’s Missy as Mary Poppins, taking two bored brats on whizzo jolly adventures, all the while with a design of her own. It’s an interesting design, in that Missy is trapped in 19th century Earth by temporal powers who take a dim view of anachronistic technology and killing people (honestly, what’s a girl to do for fun around such people?). She’s aiming to break free of their constraints, which involves breaking into the Crystal Palace, riddling a Sphinx, and Missy the steam engine driver, putting the Circle Line to possibly the best use it’s ever had. There’s a delicious denouement to the piece, and both Missy’s charges actually do learn positive life lessons on the road to mysteriously not being zapped or squished or generally thrown into pits for a thousand years. It’s a confident start to the set, with a good dose of energy and enthusiasm, for all it sometimes lags by being told for the most part through the narration of Master Oliver Davis – one of nature’s hellraisers and no mistake. And this is perhaps one of the most notable differences between, say, Missy and the other incarnation to have their own series, the War Master. Derek Jacobi’s incarnation is almost an evolution of Geoffrey Beevers’; he has a smiling face, a sweet nature when necessary, but he seems to seep corruption into everything and everyone who comes into his orbit. Missy on the other hand is actually capable of being a positive influence, more out of boredom than any particular altruism. A Spoonful of Mayhem might be a carousel of adventures and prison-breaking, but it feels as though Oliver and his sister Lucy will actually remember Missy with some fondness and take forward some of the lessons about self-determination and seizing the moment she instilled in them.

Maybe.

Or possibly they’ll be the sibling Bonnie and Clyde of the turn of the century. Might be rather good fun to pop back and find out in a future Missy set.

Divorced, Beheaded, Regenerated, by John Dorney is…well, with the best will in the world and with appreciation to all the other writers in the set, it’s the best thing in the first series of Missy adventures by at least a couple of parsecs.
Why?

Because it’s hey nonny nonny Time Lord comedy with a Tudor twist, that’s why. Rufus Hound reprises his role as the Meddling Monk -or is he Henry VIII? – with a blistering, giggling energy that barely masks his meddling nature. And Missy stakes her claim to be the wife that wasn’t. There’s toing and froing and flirting and dungeons (which for both Henry and the Monk are pretty much the same thing), but there’s also, underneath all the rapid-fire banter, a coherent, somewhat subtle sub-plot which speaks impeccably to the different personalities of the Monk and Missy. How much meddling can you do before Anyone Important notices? Can Henry VIII have had seven wives? And when the weight of paradoxes is pressing on a critical point in history, who will blink first? Missy, or the Monk?
Divorced, Beheaded, Regenerated is an action-packed hour of rollicking good fun, and there’s absolutely no doubt that a re-match between Michelle Gomez and Rufus Hound should be encouraged – they have a comic chemistry that’s like tennis with cannonballs, and they’re an absolute dream to listen to. More, more, more of the Missy-Monk axis, please, thank you and don’t kill me.

The Broken Clock, by Nev Fountain, is a story that plays with storytelling and delivery, in the style of a cheesy American crime re-enactment show, complete with actors playing people who are actually there, and an initially irritating but also subtly creepy Voiceover Guy who narrates, for instance, the approach of someone’s death, fully aware that the victim can hear them. There’s quite a bit of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey in this one, and Missy Masters, a Scotland Yard Inspector, is on the case to find out who killed whom and why – and what it all has to do with a broken grandfather clock (Yes, that would be your Who-fan reference detector pinging into life). The truth is actually rather gorgeous and demented, but whether you think it gets revealed just in the nick of time or just after the point where all the crime show meta-structure gets a little ponderous (people breaking character to ask questions and direct the action, for instance) will depend on your tolerance for the kind of layer-folded storytelling the plot demands. For my money, I was jusssst getting to the point of demanding ‘No seriously, what the hell is going on?!’ when, mercifully, the plot unfolded. Stick with it though – when you find out what actually is going on, you’ll go ‘Ohhhh…’ and realise quite how elegant the story is.

Jonathan Morris’ The Belly Of The Beast continues the style to some extent – there are reset points and restart points and loop points in this tale too, dealing with the lives of a slave mining workforce which Missy has excavating a planet that may just possibly not be a planet, for a treasure that is most certainly a treasure – and one that makes audio Missy, when she gets it (Oops – spoiler – she gets the treasure. Sorry, but this is Missy – of course she gets it) more impressive and deadly than ever she was on TV, and bodes well for upcoming box sets. You get to very near the end of The Belly Of The Beast without realising the nature of the story arc you’ve been following arguably from the beginning, but certainly since Divorced, Beheaded, Regenerated, and then everything clicks into place and sets Missy free from many of her past constraints, ready to terrorise the universe on a whole new scale in future sets. That’s the point about a Missy audio set – where on screen against the Doctor she has to ultimately lose, here, she gets to stand, and plot, and kill, and win.

The Diary of River Song Series 5, which was released first and so gets the credit of introducing Missy to the world of Big Finish, was a strong early contender for Release of the Year.

Missy Series 1 at least equals it.

Very Missy, if you think about it – fighting herself for the top spot on your Must-Get lists of Big Finish audio releases of 2019. Get ‘em both, you’re going to absolutely love them. This set though is Missy in full flow, beholden to no-one for her place in the spotlight, doing what’s necessary without sacrificing her fundamental mad-as-a-fruitbat personality. Missy was always one to blow your tiny little ape-mind. She’s found a new lease of life on audio – prepare to have your mind blown again.

Big Finish Reviews+ The Diary of River Song, Series 5 by Tony J Fyler



Tony welcomes a masterful return for River.

The Diaries of River Song, as a series concept, can, like its parent show, both have its cake and eat it – it can run a box set on the basis of a single story-arc across four stories, or a shorter arc across fewer stories with some add-ons or cut-away stories, or, as here in its fifth series, it can simply pluck episodes from across all of River’s timeline.

Here, in little more than a couple of introductory lines at the top of Episode 1, The Bekdel Test by Jonathan Morris, it sets out its stall simply and effectively. River is married to the Doctor. When you’re married to someone, even in their distinctly complicated temporal manner, you take on their baggage, because their baggage becomes your baggage. And so we’re off, picking instances from River’s diary when she ran into four incarnations of the Doctor’s biggest baggage – his one-time friend, regular enemy, now…something slightly more complex than either. These are four glorious adventures in which River Song meets the Master.

In The Bekdel Test, what we have are people – or at least, people-like constructs – who imprison the evil, the stark raving bonkers, and the deeply useful. Which is how you get noted psychopath and Doctor-killer River Song into catfighting distance of Missy, the quixotic, comedic, unpredictable incarnation of the Master played by the quixotic, comedic, unpredictable Michelle Gomez. Cue hilarity – no really, it’ll make you laugh out loud – when River mistakes her for a range of other potential Time Ladies, and then they team up to try and break out of the unbreakable prison. There’s more to The Bekdel Test than simply trying to escape from a prison of course – there would have to be, to justify the presence of the two time-twisters, and there’s a deeply cryptic clue as to what’s really going on in the title. Good luck with that one. You could argue that the plot beneath a plot beneath a plot…beneath a plot is a touch too twisted for most human brains to cope with, but that’s the point of getting these two together. They’re both accustomed to being the cleverest life-form in the room – if you’re going to face a problem that can give the pair of them their money’s worth, it has to be twistier than the average paradox. Getting Alex Kingston and Michelle Gomez together in a story is absolute verbal dynamite – you simply have to light the fuse, run away to a bunker of your choosing and listen to the explosions. Too much of these two together might prove to be exhausting, but here, there are enough sharp edges to their relationship to stop it falling off the cliff of smugness, meaning The Bekdel Test is a sparkly game of mad invention which ends jussst the right side of that fun/exhaustion borderline, resulting in a story that will come back to you for the quality of its lines weeks after you’ve listened to it.

Animal Instinct, by Roy Gill, brings us River the archaeologist and professor – both of which elements of her personality it’s sometimes easy to forget. Ancient ruins, vicious beasts, and Geoffrey Beevers’ more aristocratic, burned, less playful Master combine to make this particular expedition rather less straightforward than it might otherwise have been.
Technically, Animal Instinct is a Jumanji episode – River, her student, a couple of locals with a useful ship…and the Beevers Master have to get from A to B without dying along the way at the hands, claws, teeth and other appendages of destruction of the indigenous fauna. As such, it’s perhaps not the most innovative use of Beevers’ Master, but Gill’s writing of the character, and Beevers’ performance, do enough to keep you interested in him – and in his reaction to and relationship with River, from start to finish. It would undoubtedly be a spoiler to tell you if they all survive. But it is the Beevers Master, waking up here from quite a long cryo-sleep, so you can probably do the body-count mathematics unaided.

The Lifeboat and the Deathboat, by Eddie Robson, is a real landmark moment for Big Finish, because having resurrected TV Masters Beevers, Jacobi and Gomez, and invented a couple of its own, in the likes of Alex Macqueen and James Dreyfus, this story brings the Eric Roberts Master from the Eighth Doctor TV movie back for a second story.

And you know what? In Robson’s hands, what you get is a fantastic Master, absolutely in some ways the antithesis to the showboating version who likes to drezzz for the occasion in the movie. This is a Master in deep cover, playing a time traveller with some sincerity and dedication, revealing the almost casual callousness of his incarnation only briefly and when necessary to get the job done.

The job, this time out, is to keep his daughter safe – yes, you read that right – in the vortex, salvage scrap, and keep out of trouble while a timey-wimey version of Moby Dick plays out around him. As events catch up to him, and River cottons on to who he is and what he’s actually up to, a secondary plot emerges which would have had no problems fitting in on Star Trek: the Next Generation, as neither the Roberts Master nor almost anything or anyone else, is what they seem.

Roberts is a revelation here if you mostly know him from the TV movie, and more from him at Big Finish would be a joy. Oh, and just in case you were wavering over the ‘Add to basket’ button, yes, you absolutely get an explanation here of what happened after the TV movie that let the Master survive.

And River Series 5 ends with Concealed Weapon, by Scott Handcock.

Ooh, the craftsmanship here. It’s the same sort of feeling as when you read a really good book, find a painting or a piece of music that opens up the windows in your mind and shows you its artistry, so you nod at it and smile. What a Chippendale is to chairs, Concealed Weapon is to Master stories. And indeed, River stories. Set during the Time War, this is River getting by as a crew member on a deep space exploratory spaceship. The crew emerge from cryo-sleep, and then things start going oddly wrong. There’s an intruder down in the bowels of the ship somewhere. The computer starts getting properly HAL-style uppity. And all the while, from the available evidence, River believes her husband is coming to save her and explain things and be infuriating.

He really isn’t.

This is a match-up of River and The Man With Black Holes In His Eyes, Derek Jacobi’s War Master. What he’s doing there is revealed in an exposition-heavy rush at the end, but there are two necessary caveats to that. The first is that his late reveal in the story allows him to be what this Master has historically, on TV and in audio, been – a force of hidden pollution, striking like a cobra when necessary. Knowing he’s there before River does gives his presence an unspoken threat here, before the reasons for his presence are even actually relevant, and that gives you an elevated heartbeat throughout much of the story, like watching a horror movie, knowing the stalker is out there in the dark and watching the innocent encounter him cluelessly.

And secondly, the forced march of an ending allows River to reclaim the right to her story – it’s always a danger when you have a Master in your story that they’ll overpower your presence. But the ending shows River in all her compassionate, bloody-minded, psychopathic, never-play-chicken-with-ME-Sweetie glory, stealing the War Master’s thunder and turning his tables in a gloriously River style, leaving her a latecomer to the party of his presence, but an unconquerable badass once she knows what’s what.

The fifth series of The Diaries of River Song is a full-on power-chord of writing and performance, with four great Masters pitting their different wits and styles against the phenomenon that is River. The straightforward episodic nature of the stories allows them each to be a breath of fresh air and a punch of new energy, and the different ways in which River engages with them all make for a whirlwind waltz of fun and danger. For our money, this freshness, energy and punch makes The Diaries of River Song Series 5 a joy, both for the match-ups with the Masters, and as a River series in its own right.