Reviews Almost Perfect Novel reviewed by Christopher Fain

By James Goss

BBC Books, 2008.

Somewhere between an attempted gender expression analysis and fanfiction is where you find that everything's 'Almost Perfect'.  Set after the end of the second series, it features a team who are meant to be missing Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato and struggling to function short-handed. 

Combine body swapping and the skeletons of people who haven't died yet with two gay aliens who own a nightclub they're using as a Duracell and give them a sexual connection to Jack Harkness.  Then, add the desperate thirty year old office worker who is trying to change herself for the better and an alien device that talks to its users in the voice they are most likely to trust.  In the background, put in a dodgy miracle cure for all your medical woes, a mysterious ferry crash, and the human social need for perfection, and you've got a wonderful plot. 

Only in science fiction is a body swap or gender switch ever made plausible and, like a large slice of science fiction, the book is about more than just the thrill of the unlikely, the unknown, and the taboo.  There are any number of social issues involved in a dissection of what it means to be male, female, gay or straight, and unfortunately very few of them are touched upon here.  The book is entirely too short at two hundred and fifty pages to fully explore the topic and that's a shame because it holds great potential for such; in many places, the reader is left to guess at the characters' reactions because the prose lacks description that would give their interactions a fuller life.

If Ianto Jones ever assumed that women have some magic understanding of how female social interaction works, he's quickly disabused of that notion when he wakes up with no memory of where he's been or how he managed to switch from sweetly sardonic metrosexual male to flaming hot and apparently brainless female. 

The downside of such a delicious change is that we're left, as readers, trying to imagine what the newly female Ianto feels and failing to find sympathy for a person who was, in many ways, the most likable character on the show.  She's beautiful but seems to make a vapid woman, which is quite a letdown. Her interactions with Patrick Matthews, whom the team is attempting to protect without alerting him to the danger of a Saturday night date, are downright creepy because of Ianto's placidity in allowing a stranger to handle her body so freely.  There has to be a reason why she allows the big lug to kiss and fondle her, but there's no way to know for certain.  It suggests that Ianto lost both wits and intelligence once she lost her balls and that's insulting, even given the upheaval and confusion she would obviously be experiencing in this situation.

Emma, the female protagonist and victim, is easier to believe.  She wants happiness and a man and believes attaining the latter will give her the former.  She goes along with the brain-washing alien machine which seeks to give the user perfection in whatever they seek.  Emma speed-dates men to death as the device alters whatever she sees as being undesirable traits.  She is shallow, following the dictates of what she believes society expects of her, but manages to be far more sympathetic than the other characters as she changes and becomes, herself, a mask of perfection overlaying a frightened and lonely soul.

Jack is his usual sexual self in full Technicolor.  The truly redeeming scene in this story involves his gentleness in caring for Ianto, who cannot make herself get out of bed as she falls further into what seems to be depression at the incomprehensible change of physical sex.

The plot is an interesting concept and one that should be the backbone of a story both deep and hilarious, but there are too many gaps.  The characters' emotional reactions are flat and almost nonexistent with the exception of Gwen Cooper, whose uncharacteristic jealous cattiness swings from funny to annoying. 

'Almost Perfect' is set soon after the events of 'Exit Wounds', the end of series two, but there is little mention of Tosh and Owen or their tragic deaths, which should be still painful for the remaining members of the team.  There is no mention of lasting structural damage from Cardiff being bombed by John Hart and Jack's psychopathic brother Gray, which was a major plot point of that last episode.

The novel contains a convoluted loop in time that throws the reader into a tailspin, which is, perhaps, what was intended.  Time travel is meant to be confusing and the soft warning at the bottom of page five, at the beginning of this tale, means exactly what it says.  Things are not necessarily in the order in which you see them.  However, the clever trick of switching the order of narrative flow has been left wanting in that the story is difficult to follow when combined with the plot holes and characterization issues.

If this story had clocked in at four hundred pages, it would have had space enough to explore the topics which are glaring up at the reader, begging for a conversation.  Transgenderism, sexual expression, and skewed social perceptions of gender and desirability are all here, waiting to be found.  But, at such a short length, there's little hope of a meaningful dialogue.

James Goss has been responsible for the production of a number of Doctor Who-related animations and classic Doctor Who DVD special features.  He has also previously worked as the senior content producer for the BBC and written two stage plays and several audio books and radio dramas, including the Torchwood stories 'Department X' and 'Ghost Train'.  His Torchwood-related audio dramas include 'Golden Age' and 'The House of the Dead'.  He has been the co-producer for Big Finish Productions' range of 'Dark Shadows' stories.  'Almost Perfect' was his first published Torchwood story, followed by 'Risk Assessment' and 'First Born'.  He has also written novels for BBC shows such as 'Doctor Who' and 'Being Human'.  In 2013, BBC Books released the Doctor Who tie-in novella, 'Summer Falls', written under the name of Amelia Pond Williams.  His 'Lady Serpent' mysteries are a wonderful series of crime dramas, well worth reading.

Interviews James Goss by DJ Forrest

Having learnt of how Andrew and fellow writers of Consequences started in their chosen career, what drove you to write, was it from school, or after watching the relaunch of Doctor Who, or was it something you’d always done but as a hobby initially?

James:  Maths, to be honest. When I first got to write a Torchwood novel, I was so excited. But there was so little time to do it, and I had a proper job, so it was really just like exam revision. I worked out how long the book was, how long I had to write it in, and then worked out how many words I needed to write each day, then found ways of doing that that amused me. That's why my first book is so odd and broken-up. Maths. I'd get home and while the microwave spun I'd think of something that'd keep me off Facebook for a couple of hours.

Given that there is still so much scope for Torchwood as a history going back to the 1800’s what are the chances of more books and audio stories coming out covering that period, and would Russell want to take the story back, with only fleeting stories covering Jack’s past all those years ago? 

James: One of the ideas I pitched for the second Torchwood radio play was about Jack's first meeting with Queen Victoria. It wasn't very good, and Russell's reply to that email was spot-on. It might work as an audiobook, but not as Radio Four where people would be expecting guns and spaceships and contemporary mystery, not a rustle of crinoline.

There is so much history of Torchwood, with Emily Holroyd and team even the team featuring Gerald and Harriet, it would be fun to have stories based upon those characters.  The only reason I ask about this is Doctor Who has been around for 50 years this year and there have been countless books by numerous writers over the years, featuring stories long after the various Doctors had regenerated and I just feel sometimes that it would be such a challenge, but a good one to bring out more Torchwood books that feature the past as well as before Miracle Day, that aren’t always based around tie ins, as in the bits between the episodes we’ve just seen.  I think with Jack’s time line there is so much scope to write a hell of a lot more stories.

As a writer myself the sci fi genre opens up so many opportunities for so many levels of story writing for the Torchwood and Whoniverse it would be such a waste not to tap into so many ideas of what and where you could take the Torchwood team.  Would you like to see a return of Torchwood, in any capacity?

James: Yes.

Do you go to a lot of the Conventions when they’re on?

James: No.

As writers of Torchwood and the Whoniverse do you get to meet up with your fellow writers as I often think when I read the banter between people on Twitter that you all know each other quite well?

James: Joe Lidster and I see a lot of each other. I remember Joe telling me in a pub one evening that it was “a great secret” that we were going out with each other. I stared at him in horror. “How do you think I feel, fatty?” he replied.

Fans Questions:

Mel Purplemonkeydishwasher Bennett 'Almost Perfect' was the first Torchwood book, that I read, and it's probably my favourite. Where did the idea behind it come from, and why Ianto?? Also, thanks for a book which features large amounts of Rhys.

James:  Weirdly, the original idea, which I mentioned to Gary Russell ages before was “Owen as a Woman”. Because he'd be an absolute disaster at it, whereas Ianto was a sweet mess. But then, of course, it sat on a pile somewhere, forgotten, while everyone got on with their lives, and then Steve Tribe needed someone to write a book, and Gary remembered, and Steve rang me and said “So I've got this book idea from you about Ianto as a woman...” and I said, “Oh dear, oh, I'm so sorry.” And he said “No, no, not at all.”

Also, with Rhys, I adore writing Rhys. I have absolutely no idea why, but I could quite happily sit and pretend to be Rhys all day long. I think it's because he's the most normal man ever to have lived, and because Kai Owen is so brilliant at being the centre of Gwen's universe. She spends all day, every day on top of rooftops, saving the world and shooting aliens, and he's there at home, chopping onions and having to listen. I bet, you know, that Gwen always means to ask him how his day's been and never quite gets round to it.

Mickie Newton:  Almost Perfect is one of my favourite books too. My question James is You captured the voices and characterization so well of each of the main characters. How were you able to achieve that in words only? Was it at all difficult to write Ianto as a woman? I thought you did a fantastic job by the way. Almost Perfect is one of my favourite TW Novels

James: Thank you. I'm very fond of it and really proud of it, but it was the first time I'd ever written a book and it became so completely complicated and confusing when I was in the middle of it. In the middle of it was the idea that Ianto would just be a bit chaotic as a woman and completely unaware of how beautiful he was, and then, by the end, quietly thrilled at the effect he had on other people.

The main problem was Gwen. In my head, while I was doing the first draft, what kept me going was the idea that, underneath all that niceness, Gwen was tired, hungover, stressed and massively resentful of female Ianto. My friend Lee Binding read the first draft and went “WHAT THE HELL? You have completely missed the point of Gwen.” And he was right. But it was kind of how I felt at the time, staying up till 2 writing, going in to work, writing through lunch, coming home and writing some more... and having to pretend that everything was brilliant and lovely and happy while sitting in meetings and thinking “I'm writing a Torchwood novel! This meeting is silly. And I'd like a nap.”

Psyche Gry Christoffersen Alright, a question from the Danish girl: "Was there a specific point in your life where you knew you wanted to be a writer? Like, when all the other kids were playing soccer in school and you sat under the table filling notebook after notebook with the adventures of Jim and his space dog? No wait, that was me. Anyway, did you always want to be a writer?"

James: I sort of forgot about it in my 20s. Just because I had such a brilliant and fun and creative job. And then, suddenly, a play I'd worked on in my teens had a very successful run in LA. And I suddenly was in the situation of being sat at a desk, discovering that my 17 year old self had a better career than me.