Showing posts with label May 2021. Show all posts
Showing posts with label May 2021. Show all posts

Thursday, 6 May 2021

Articles Welcome to Issue 91 - The Nathan Wyburn Interview May Edition

 


 Issue 91

 Contents Guide

 

Who Reviews

The Shadow of Weng-Chiang

by DJ Forrest

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/who-reviews-shadow-of-weng-chiang-by-dj.html

 

(Torchwood) Reviews

Gooseberry 

by Tony Fyler

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/reviews-torchwood-gooseberry-by-tony-j.html

 

Profiles

George

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/profiles-george-by-alice-diggle.html

Luke Smith

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/profiles-luke-smith-by-alice-diggle.html

Steven Carter

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/profiles-steven-carter-by-alice-diggle.html

By Alice Diggle


 Interviews

The Nathan Wyburn Interview

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/interviews-nathan-wyburn-interview-by.html

 

Fans Fiction

The Eternal Diamond part two

By S. Florence

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/fans-fiction-eternal-diamond-part-two.html


Big Finish Reviews+

Doomsday Contract

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/big-finish-reviews-doomsday-contract-by.html

Return of the Cybermen

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/big-finish-reviews-return-of-cybermen.html

The Lone Centurion

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/big-finish-reviews-lone-centurion-by.html

By Tony J Fyler


Beyond The Hub

Sad Farewell to Faith Howells

https://projecttorchwood.blogspot.com/2021/05/beyond-hub-sad-farewell-to-faith.html

 

 

Editors Note 

Launching at a time of Election Fever, but in this crazy world we live in, will it make much difference as to who wins? We’ve all voted on Joshua Weevil winning – so he can learn to clean up his own mess – however…. likely one of us will draw the short straw. 

We’ve some brilliant reviews again this month, from the pen, or keyboard of Tony J Fyler. Alice Diggle has some interesting Profiles, and S Florence delights us with more Lady C Adventures. I love those stories. 

We caught up with Nathan Wyburn recently for an interview. Owen has been trying to replicate a Marmite version of Captain Jack but its had dire consequences – the Weevil ate it – and I’m really not cleaning that up!!! 

Special thanks to Nathan for the Interview and sharing his wonderful photos. 

We say a sad farewell to Faith Howells too, be sure to check out Djak’s review of the series, the highs and lows and the ‘reach for the hankies’ moments. 

Many thanks to everyone who contributed to this month’s Issue, and we look forward as ever to more next month. We are still on the lookout for Location writers to complete our Miracle Day section if you fancy having a go? Possibly someone from the US of A, with knowledge of the area, and how to write directions on how to reach them. 

Without any further ado, welcome to Issue 91.

 

 

Beyond The Hub A Sad Farewell to Faith Howells by DJ Forrest

 


There’s never been a dull moment in the Howell’s household, from its early beginnings to its final tragic outcome in season three, with kidnappings, murder, secrets and lies, yep, there’s definitely nothing quiet about the lives of the Howell’s.   

In the first season of Un Bore Mercher/Keeping Faith, Evan Howells is keeping too many secrets from his wife, and one Wednesday morning, disappears. She sees him as usual pulling the car away from the front of the house, and the next instant, he’s gone, and for a long while it seems, never to return. A search is on for details of Evan’s disappearance, and a substantial amount of money from the company accounts which has cleaned them out, leads Faith to discover that Evan has bitten off more than he can chew with the likes of the Vaughan’s and the Reardon’s. 

Evan may have appeared the model citizen, but when he worked with the Vaughan’s and Gael Reardon, he was anything but a saint. It led to Faith to discover what her husband had been up to before he disappeared. It put them all in danger, including young Alys, her eldest child. It led to Steve Baldini, who she had acted as solicitor for, who had promised to look out for her and her family, who knew things about Evan that even Faith didn’t know about. It led to her falling for this rugged bad boy Baldini, and towards the end of the season, you really, really hoped she would… 

Season One introduced us to a wealth of characters. The extended family including Evan’s sister and her policeman husband. Evan’s mum who came clean as to who his biological father was, after a DNA test put Tom nowhere in the picture. 

When Evan finally returned, when the truth came out about his involvement with the Vaughan’s and Reardon’s, that level of trust that Faith had had for him was well and truly lost. It also brought with it corrupt police activity in the form of the Police Sergeant who was determined to connect Faith with the disappearance of her husband, and the death of a dentist. 

Season Two saw Evan in prison, but the investigation was still ongoing and Gael Reardon was putting the pressure on Faith with packages and envelopes and handovers, that were caught on camera. Alys had reached the obnoxious teenager stage and who can blame her with the craziness of family life. Arthur, the down and out drunk in the first season, who came into his own towards the end, and became a firm friend of Faith’s and became the new childminder, and the whole family appreciated his help, even when Evan was released from prison. 

Evan hadn’t properly adapted to family life and was still tracking Faith, uncovering her investigation, the photos and paperwork from deals and contracts which had led to them almost going under in the first season. Tom had separated from Marion, and was living on his boat in the harbour. His secretary declared her undying love for him, which was very sweet, and Marion developed a limp and a walking aid and had aged incredibly after the trauma of losing her son and then her husband in swift succession. I’m not sure if Evan truly forgave his Mum for lying to him about his father. 

In Season Three, a newcomer came to town, stirring up trouble and looking for revenge. Faith’s estranged mother came for a visit, to stir up trouble, and cause untold mayhem and chaos for Faith and her family. Her concern for daughter and her grandchildren was a mask for why she was really in town and the final showdown was the icing on the cake. Her swansong. 

The final episode was a true heart breaker and tear jerker. Hankies were definitely required. Staring down the barrel of a handgun, Faith saw the darkness of the mother scorned. Her revenge was to eliminate everything her daughter truly loved, to make her feel as bad as her own life had become. But Faith, was a different person when she left home and left the clutches of her mother – a woman she never loved, or trusted. It unnerved her that she was in town, and home truths had to be laid on the table when Faith finally owned up to some things in her past, she had hoped would remain buried. When Tom learnt the truth, he ended his business relationship with Faith’s mother, who had come in to put some business his way. 

Matthew Hall, writer and creator of Keeping Faith has a way of drawing you into a character and their lives, bringing them to life before your eyes. Introducing a character who for much of the story is a regular kind of Jo, with a family, living in a small Welsh coastal town, and everything is pretty much, normal, but then taking the normal, and turning it into something bigger, stronger, brasher and introducing us to characters who you want to root for. Some you want to slap, and others you might want to hit in the face with a chair. But certainly, you find yourself humming the theme tune while working, see character scenes opening up in your head. It’s been a wonderful series and I’m only disappointed that it’s come to its natural end, but what an ending. 

It’s going to take some time to find a series that will fill the void of Un Bore Mercher/Keeping Faith. 

We Will Miss You, Faith Howell’s.

 

 

Big Finish Reviews+ The Lone Centurion by Tony J Fyler

 


Rory Williams had one of the most interesting companion journeys in the history of Doctor Who. Originally a boy in awe of an amazing young woman, the different leagues they were in was underscored for him when her amazing imaginary friend finally turned up to save the world, and she rose to the challenge of his existence. 

On the night before their wedding, the girl ran away with the raggedy alien, and Rory knew the challenge was his to meet too. Be worthy of the girl. Embrace the universe. Expand his natural kindness and desire to heal so it operated on a much larger scale. Become someone he felt was worthy of Amelia Pond. 

That’s a tough ask when faced with a girl who wants all of time and space. When Mickey Smith felt the challenge, it took him a while before he could come round to it – and by then, he’d lost the girl. When Danny Pink was faced with the challenge, he rejected it, making Clara lie to him or make a choice for which she wasn’t ready. 

Rory Williams is the best ‘boyfriend’ companion in New Who, because he never hesitated. Primed by a shared history of Doctor stories with Amy, and still really wanting to be ‘enough’ for her, he nevertheless began jumping into her life in time and space, even finding an eventual accommodation with the Doctor. 

When we love someone, we say we’d die to protect them. 

Dying was something Rory perfected. It was brave, and necessary, and frequently kind – and it’s hardly a surprise that Rory perfected the art of doing it, because those were the lodestones of his character. Brave, and necessary, and frequently kind. 

But then, in a signature Moffatt move, a Rory existed who was an Auton replica, who on gaining consciousness of his nature, was driven to do a terrible thing. A thing that jeopardized the woman he loved. 

And so Rory Williams, the nurse from Leadworth, came to be the Lone Centurion. A guardian of the Pandorica – a giant box holding his wife, Amelia Pond. He would guard it for millennia, going the long way round both in penance for what he’d done, to keep his wife safe from those who would come to steal her away. He was also an immortal (barring accidents), trying to learn or remember how to be a human being. 

All of that happens fairly quickly in the on-screen creation of the legend of the Lone Centurion. There are tales of some of his actions to protect the Pandorica, but he’s created in the blink of a few eyes and then the story of the Pandorica re-opening continues. 

It’s finally time to go the long way round with the Lone Centurion at Big Finish. 

On the strength of this first release, it’s going to be a fantastic journey. 

This first box set might be described as the ‘Roman’ arc of Rory’s journey, and it takes him from the arena as an unkillable gladiator, all the way up to the highest of Roman heights in a pocket of history about which it’s not wise to ask too many questions. 

This is not like Cicero, the other recent festival of Roman joy and jollity from Big Finish – there’s no specific character to nail your timing into place. This is Rome as written into Rory’s existence on Doctor Who – a Rome created from a child’s storybook, and where River Song could turn up posing as Cleopatra, even though the real thing was known to have died centuries earlier. It’s Rome by meme and stereotype, rather than Rome by date and celebrity – and the point is, that’s perfectly fine in this box set, because Rome by meme is quite Roman enough for an unkillable centurion with a magic box.

Episode 1, the irresistibly named Gladiator, by David Llewellyn, poses an interesting initial question: what do you do with a gladiator who won’t die, no matter how many times you stab him? 

It also throws Rory – who came to Rome in search of the Pandorica, which he’s misplaced along his way – into palace intrigue, when his unkillability proves interesting to the Augusta, wife of the emperor (Joanna Van Kampen), while the emperor himself (Joseph Tweedale) is rather more interested in Rory as a physical specimen than an immortal one. 

There are murder plots, sleight of hand, a peak behind the curtains of Roman stage management, the revelation of good people and bad people, and a comedy bit with a soothsayer that punches well above its weight (as you might expect, given that Tacitus the sayer of sooth is played by Terry Molloy), en route to a dangerous upward move in society for Leadworth’s finest. 3720001 – the Kings 

In particular, Rory helps solve the mystery of an attempted imperial assassination, more or less in the style of Lindsey Davis’ Marcus Didius Falco crime novels (Not tried ’em? Try’ em!), with Rory promoted to imperial food taster, while smuggling an endangered stagehand named Marcella (Ines de Clercq) to apparent safety, and avoiding the attentions of a demented servant with ideas above their station (No, of course we’re not going to name them for you – where would be the fun in that?) 

Arthur Darvill makes a triumphant return to the role of Rory, bringing all the well-meaning problem-solving instincts of his character to the audio, but with the extra self-assurance of an unkillable plastic man from the far-distant future. That doesn’t mean Rory gets everything his own way, of course – the drama in the release is in quite how different the paradigms are which underpin Rory’s emotional and moral sense from those of the smiling cesspit of ancient Rome, and how he manages to negotiate that pit. But it makes Rory always worth listening to in his own series, rather than being a voice of practical courage often faced with three more whizz-bang personalities in his TV Who time. 

Along with Arthur Darvill though, Gladiator delivers an enjoyably feminist sub-story, pinned in place by two performances – Joanna Van Kampen as Augusta, and Ines de Clercq as Marcella. As the power behind the throne, Van Kampen is gloooorious, adding power, vivacity and verve to the storytelling, which director Scott Handcock translates expertly into pace that picks up what, in less experienced hands, could be a slow-burning saga of court shenanigans. 

As the put-upon, lonely victim of a criminal conspiracy to kill the emperor and frame a stagehand, Ines de Clercq probably has the bigger arc, and it’s one she travels with an aplomb you’d expect of a much more seasoned voice.

Between the three of them, with solid support from the likes of Joseph Tweedale and Terry Molloy, they mould Gladiator into an exciting first instalment in the Lone Centurion series, managing the drama and the reality of the human emotions while maintaining a tone that’s never too serious, and is frequently laugh-out-loud funny. 

The Unwilling Assassin, by Sarah Ward, establishes Rory as…well, as an unwilling assassin, funnily enough, in a new order of Roman rule. In fact, he’s the state’s official executioner, while secretly running a kind of underground railroad, helping those he’s been ordered to kill to get out of the city and, so long as they keep their still-attached heads down, out of the reach of the law. 

Naturally, the powers-that-be are suspicious, and Decima, the state’s chief spy, played with just the right relish by Robyn Holdaway, is set on his trail. While the cast play it mostly as straight as they need to in order to establish the reality of a world that has an official assassin, an official spy, and an unstable self-aggrandizing paranoic at its head (You remember what that felt like, right?), there’s actually something intensely and deliciously farcical about The Unwilling Assassin. 

In some respects, it’s a comedy of state bureaucracy, with the assassin letting people live and the spy chasing him to prove that’s what he’s done. In other respects, it’s pure farce, with troublesome senators being ordered to be wrestled to death during a training session, and poisonous platefuls of hors d’oeuvres doing the rounds. 

You can ultimately see how that’s going to play out long in advance, but that doesn’t stop its spiral closer towards the inevitable end being any less funny. There’s a touch of Roman Blackadder about the piece, if Blackadder were immortal. 

That gives The Unwilling Assassin a sense of fun that lightens Rory’s position as an assassin who hates the idea of killing the mostly-innocent on the whims of the mostly-barking. When the inevitable happens, it’s both dark and comic, and leaves Rory free of the tyranny that has oppressed him – but faced with a whole new set of problems. 

I, Rorius, by Jacqueline Rayner, has a title that’s a dead giveaway about the story it contains – at least, it does if you know the reference. If you don’t, it’s tempting to spoiler it for you, but let’s just say that Rory finds himself in a position of power that neither his nursing background nor his programmed memories as a centurion prepared him for. 

He’s left at the heart of a web of intrigue, power, self-interest and backstabbery the like of which is straight out of…well, the history of ancient Rome, to be fair. Finding a way through the elevated struggles of his new position pits his determination to do a good, fair, humane job in whatever role he fills against his own lack of interest in power for its own sake. 

The solution he arrives at – more to stop people targeting those around him than for his own benefit – is something that would probably only occur to Rory. And, well, just possibly to certain victorious ex-gladiators played by Russell Crowe in movies. 

Where Gladiator pairs Rory with a woman who is very much a dear friend by the end of the drama, I, Rorius sounds like it flirts with truer, more dangerous territory as he befriends the slave girl Anna (Samantha Beart in the latest role in her rock solid Big Finish repertoire). If anything, his involvement with Anna helps him remember more about being human than anything that comes before it – but that memory is mostly of his Amy, the goddess around which this particular Roman’s life revolves. That’s glorious to hear (Rorius the Glorious – missed opportunity?), and feels true to the character we know. While Anna could well be wonderful for him, she’d never be Amy – and Amy is what matters most, both to Rory Williams, nurse, from Leadworth, and to Rory of the Britons, the Lone Centurion. 

All told, the first Lone Centurion box set is enormous fun both by virtue of its Roman setting, by virtue of the fact that it exists in a kind of ‘print the legend’ vague pocket of Roman history, and because setting a character like Rory Williams in that world and making him more or less immortal is a pure, pure joy. 

Get it. Listen to it. Eagerly await the already confirmed second instalment. The Lone Centurion 1 is a set that will make you laugh, smile, sigh contentedly, and smile some more. Hail Rory – and here’s to the long way round.

Big Finish Reviews+ Return of the Cybermen by Tony J Fyler

 


Tony’s hiding in a cupboard. 

There’s no disguising the fact that Return of the Cybermen, originally proposed by Cybermen co-creator Gerry Davis during Tom Baker’s first season, and now adapted for audio by John Dorney, has been impatiently awaited by Fourth Doctor fans everywhere.

Not only is it the script which Revenge of the Cybermen was originally destined to be – though it is, which is quite squeeworthy enough in its own right – it also sees the recasting of two entirely wonderful Fourth Doctor companions…in the script which Revenge of the Cybermen was originally intended to be. 

So…no pressure or expectation there, then. 

Let’s manage some of those expectations before we go much further. Return of the Cybermen is a Lost Story, and, because John Dorney has done his best to give listeners a relatively authentic sense of what could have been broadcast, you can sort of understand why Revenge eventually replaced it. While Gerry Davis and Kit Pedler gave us some of the most classic black and white Cyber-stories, Davis hadn’t written a Cyber-story at all during the Pertwee era, and some of the scares early in Return of the Cybermen are…a little familiar. 

Oddly enough, they’ll be a little familiar to much newer Doctor Who fans too, because enough time has gone by that they were used in the likes of World Enough And Time. Back-referencing from several decades on though feels like an homage. Davis re-using or barely tweaking elements from Troughton stories feels a touch…shall we say…Terry Nation in its recycling. 

Let the record show of course that Revenge of the Cybermen reached screens with plenty of recycled black and white Cyber-story elements intact – cybermats, plague infection, all that good happy vein-throbbing stuff. But in Return, the vibe is very much of a script that was half-developed, but even if you’d never seen Revenge, would need more complexity to make it really work. 

There’s a degree of Cyber-hide-and-seek that takes up quite a while in this story, and when the CyberLeader arrives and the actual Cyber-plot is revealed, there’s really rather a damp squib effect. “That’s it?” is the reaction, rather than “Ahhh,” or “Excellent.” 

Yes, the Cybermen will absolutely go down in science fiction history as the villains most famous for logic while having the most illogical, convoluted and nonsensical plots and plans. This one is still pretty convoluted, but for even less reason than was given in Revenge.

The underpinnings of the Revenge script are here, certainly – space station Nerva, a nearby asteroid, something about the Cybermen wanting to get rid of gold. Nerva still has its Cybermat-delivered plague, and many of the characters are the same. But the action on the asteroid, what it is, who it’s peopled by, the local politics of it all – that’s all entirely different and rather more redolent of an earlier draft, as you’d expect. 

It’s also not until you hear a version without them in it that you really realise how much you miss some of the great Tom Baker moments that are studded throughout Revenge of the Cybermen. The whole “pathetic bunch of tin soldiers” speech. The relatively new Doctor threatening Kellman with infection by Cybemat. Obviously, the declaration to the universe that Harry Sullivan is an imbecile. And even the smaller moments, like the Fourth Doctor’s ideas only coming a bit at a time, all enrich Revenge of the Cybermen, and you miss the verve of them here. 

The events on the asteroid-that-isn’t-Voga struggle to achieve a consequence anywhere near the bitter, desperate politicking of the televised version, and as a standalone, as well as by comparison with the Revenge we know and mostly love, events there feel forgettable. And while events more or less come back around to the Revenge plot by the end of the story, some crucial differences leave them feeling a touch Earthshocky in the “Wait, where’s the logic in that?” department. 

That leaves the final reel feeling a little more jaunty than “desperate battle for everybody’s lives,” meaning less impact (ahem) that you’d like in a Cyber-story. 

The thing about this is that it sounds churlish to say it all. It’s written right there in big letters on the cover. This is a Lost Story. It never made it to screen, so judging it as if it did, or, which is worse, against something that did, is a touch idiotic. Especially when the lines are so traceably close between this script and the transmitted version with which we have over 45 years of experience. 

If you didn’t start out this way, it’s time for an attitude adjustment on Return of the Cybermen. It’s not the Revenge we know, it’s a tantalizing peek at a Revenge from another dimension, another history that could have been. In a sense, thinking of it that way that will not only help you come to terms with the Doctor’s accommodation with the Cybermen here, but also to embrace all the other new elements. 

The other new elements like, for instance, those two recast companions. So how do the newcomers do? 

Good news. 

Christopher Naylor as the new Harry Sullivan is pretty breath-perfect. His Harry is instantly believable, and if you don’t happen to know what Christopher Naylor looks like before you listen, you’ll easily be able to see Ian Marter's facial expressions matching his performance. 

Sadie Miller of course has a harder task ahead of her. On the one hand, plenty of hardcore Sarah Jane fans have seen Sadie Miller being…well, Sadie Miller, as she’s been kind enough to engage with the fandom on a longer-term basis, sharing memories of her mum, Elisabeth Sladen. With the best will in the world to Ian Marter’s joyful performance, Sarah Jane is also the favourite companion of a lot more fans, so it takes just a little longer to shake off your knowledge of Sadie as Sadie, and find Sarah Jane. Certainly though, it doesn’t take very long before you find yourself hearing a Sarah-Jane. A perfectly plausible, natural Sarah Jane that could more than work in audio. And you nod, and you smile, because you so want Sadie to smash it. 

And then, in some of the most unconscious-seeming moments, and on some of the most unlikely lines...there she is. Uncannily. Like listening to a sonic mirror, connecting you to long-ago. The real Sarah Jane. There’s a punch of renewed loss in those moments, but it lifts you in a heartbeat to a moment of 'Oh my God, it's you! It is you, isn't it?!' And the emotion in those moments is complicated. Remembering Elisabeth Sladen. Welcoming Sadie Miller. Uniting them in the fiction that is Sarah Jane Smith, a favourite friend in a dangerous universe, often afraid but brilliant and brave, with a hand your young self could hold through the dark. Whether Return of the Cybermen is a one-off, or whether there are more, for this moment in audio history, Sarah Jane is back – and it’s an unparallelled gift for every fan of the period. 

So – they work out OK then… 

They’re by no means alone. Perhaps peculiarly, while it would take a neutron bomb or chronic boredom to mute Tom Baker (and long may he be kept from either), he’s less the focus in Return of the Cybermen than he was in Revenge, where his energy, fresh in the job, spun the whole story around it. Here, the nature of the story demands that he be blown from pillar to post a bit more – including engaging in that very Troughton-esque game of Hunt The Cyberman. 

But Kellman, the devious double-crossing scientist played on-screen by canary-haired ice-man actor Jeremy Wilkin, gets a new lease of equally toady but less obvious life here through the voice of perennial script-helper, Nickolas Grace. 

Nicholas Asbury brings gruffness and gravitas to Nerva’s Commander Stevenson too, while arguably the greatest Nicholas of them all, Mr Briggs himself, gives a cameo at the beginning, and then gives semi-electronic life to the Cybermen all the way through. 

Oddly enough, that’s one of the most different things about Return of the Cybermen – Nick Briggs plays the Cybermen not in any attempt to replicate the Revenge version, which were, let’s face it, interesting but odd, but as a kind of Invasion++ version – not quite the same as late Troughton-era Cybermen, but moved along a notch or two in their development. In all fairness, that’s reportedly what Davis had in mind for these redeveloped Cybermen, so in some respects, what we get here is a knitting together of the best of Davis’ intentions with the best efforts of the 21st century’s CyberController. 

Oh, and while we’re heaping praise on Nick Briggs – you’re probably going to need to stand up at several points and clap. The sound design and music on this story is jooooyously resonant of the original Carey Blyton soundtrack, with just occasional twists of something more Dudley Simpsonish to really steep you in the Tom Baker era. This is the sort of soundtrack that makes it worth your while to listen beyond the Behind The Scenes stuff, purely to revel. 

Is Return of the Cybermen the best Cyberman story ever? 

No, it’s at least as barmy as most other “logic-driven” Cyber-plots, but with a few holes, driven over by a cast giving it plenty of gusto to pretend it makes sense. So…not unlike Revenge of the Cybermen, then. And Earthshock. And The Wheel In Space. And…well, insert the name of your favourite Classic-era Cyber-story here. 

Is it a tantalizing glimpse into a Cyber-story we might have had though? Absolutely, and there’s value in that for its own sake. 

Much, much more than that though, it’s a triumphant first outing for a new ‘Early Baker’ Tardis team that fills all the nostalgic fans with joy. More Harry and Sarah stories would be entirely welcome based on the chemistry and performances here – possibly opening up new areas for the ever-developing Fourth Doctor Adventures range. 

Return of the Cybermen is a hard-punching, barmy story which takes a different tack on a well-known adventure, gives you gifts galore along the way, and delivers a soundtrack that makes you cheer. 

Yes, money’s tight in the time of Covid, but you’re really going to need to go get this one.

Big Finish Reviews+ The Doomsday Contract by Tony J Fyler

 


Tony reads the small print. 

Many writers, when they come to write Doctor Who, bring their own unique universe with them, and essentially give the Doctor a sojourn in that space. In Robert Holmes’ universe, there were strongly-written pairs of rogues with hearts of gold skulking behind every rock. In Eric Saward’s universe, you’ll find Terileptils, tinclavic and an alcoholic drink called voxnic all popping up with implausible regularity, irrespective of whether the stories deal with missing twins or resurrecting Daleks. 

Then there’s Douglas Adams. 

Douglas Adams was script editor of Doctor Who for Season 17 – the season of disco robots in a flying teacup, multiple Mona Lisas and a one-eyed, many-bodied alien, a fluorescent sentient testicle in a pit, walking drug stashes popping out of pictures, and the interrupted but subsequently endlessly remade Shada, involving space prisons, dementing Time Lords at Cambridge, a very remarkable book, and a villain with no dress sense and a beach ball of death. 

That right there is a very definite mood. A very individualistic universe. Whether you love it or hate it more or less determines the ‘kind’ of Doctor Who fan you are. When Adams and producer Graham Williams were replaced, they were replaced by either a team who wanted to be less silly, or a bunch of po-faced beige-brains who thought mathematics made for gripping sci-fi – again, depending on which side of the divide you stand. 

 You’re going to really need to be a pro-Adams/Williams to enjoy The Doomsday Contract.

That’s hardly surprising. It was originally written by John Lloyd – Adams’ equal and uncredited co-writer for some of the initial Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy radio show, and his out-and-out co-writer on the equally batty ‘Meaning of Liff’ – a dictionary of experiences for which no words currently exist. It was a story in fact commissioned by Adams himself, and so, make no mistake about it, if you’re an Adams/Lloyd fan, you’re going to get a lot out of the new adaptation of Lloyd’s script by Nev Fountain – himself no slouch in bringing the comedy to Doctor Who and using it to devastating effect. 

If you’re anything but a fan of Adams and Lloyd’s universe, where a couple of Goonish lines can take an outright absurdity and turn it into an obvious reality, you may be grinding your teeth by the time you get to the end of this one. 

Basic premise? The Doctor is summoned as an expert witness in an intergalactic courtroom, to provide testimony that there is intelligent life on Earth. Why? Because the Earth has been under an ecological preservation order which is up for renewal. If there’s no intelligent life there, the order can be lifted and the Earth can be turned into luxury flats by a deeply unscrupulous businesscreature with more tentacles than principles. 

Ironically, there are also plans for the planet by some ecological do-gooding folk (headed, naturally enough, by former big game hunter turned green advocate, Smilax (Paul Panting)). And, just to complete the triangle of impossible pressures, if the Doctor testifies that he has evidence of intelligent life on Earth, he will have to admit to having been there during the period while the preservation order was in force. The penalty for which is immediate vaporization. 

Like lots of the best Doctor Who, it’s a satire on bureaucracy and its dread power, and like some of the best John Lloyd/Douglas Adams work, it takes something very simple and expands it to a universal size so it can assume the full power of its folly.

Does it…work? 

Yes. And no. Probably at the same time. 

On the one hand, putting the Fourth Doctor in a courtroom setting is always going to be a funny thing to do – he objects to the lawyers for whom he’s appearing (notably the much-put-upon Tragacanth, played by Jenny Spark with deliciously increasing infuriation), cites a yo-yo as proof of intelligent Earth life, only to discover it’s made in Alpha Centauri, harangues the sleepy, lunch-addicted judge (played by audio Avengers’ Steed, Julian Wadham), and milks the situation for all the comedy that’s in it. 

The ostensible villain of the piece, the enigmatic Mr Skorpios, played by Richard Laing, naturally does the ostensible villain thing and sends assassins after the Doctor the moment it begins to look like he might have evidence of intelligent life on the planet. Cue an interesting, but never entirely successful parade of threats. The first and most ongoing threat is a gang of creepy monster children, who think they’re bringing you to life when in fact from your point in relationship to space-time, they’re killing you stone dead. Which is difficult to explain before they get their mitts on you. 

Then there are the assassins who, if they fail in their duties, go off and kill themselves by way of penance. There are deadly fish who may be vicious but who do at least have a nose for good wine, and would much rather be drinking than stripping the flesh from your bones, no matter what the stereotypes say. There’s a stroke of science fiction genius here too, when the Doctor and K9 end up in a witness protection micro-universe – a mini-Matrix, if you will. And those who enjoyed the absurdity of Douglas Adams’ Golgafrinchans – a society made up of nothing but marketing people, middle managers, hairdressers and telephone sanitizers – there’s a treat in store when you meet a famous lost jury who, rather than return a verdict which was prejudiced in favour of verifiable fact, naffed off into a netherworld, to exist as bunches of pixels in a never-ending state of indecision. 

And don’t get us started about the endangered feathered lizards. Really. Or the machine which makes a cup of a substance almost, but not entirely unlike…coffee. 

If all this sounds like a right old romp around an Adamsesque universe while pouring on the satire against bureaucracy, courtroom procedure, big business, green interest groups and fake news – get yourself a copy of The Doomsday Contract, and laugh your tentacles off.

If it sounds too zany for your blood – it’s one you should probably avoid, because the description of it here is merely a snapshot of the storyline. 

In audio, it has the attention-span and the energy of a pinball, as you try to cling on to story-threads that tangle, intersect, and just occasionally feel like they have no place in the same story. 

There’s a logic to that – Nev Fountain has done his best to maintain as much of the Lloyd original as possible. Except the Lloyd original is actually a plural thing, as there were two full outlines – each of which had a different assassination-threat in it, both of which were ultimately deemed impractical or insensitive. Both threats are in this version, and the need for them both feels underproved, so you might well find yourself going ‘What?’ quite a lot. Though in all fairness to Fountain, you’d probably have found yourself going ‘What?’ a lot at whichever version of Lloyd’s original had made it to your TV screen. 

In a sense then, what you have here is a modernized, amalgamated version of two drafts of a story outline, by probably one of the best writers ever to come this close to getting a Doctor Who story made without ever quite getting there. It’s interesting that Jon Lloyd himself was invited to adapt his original ideas into a Lost Stories recording around…8 years ago, when the Lost Stories were coming to what seemed like a natural end. When it came about that there were going to be some new Lost stories released this far down the line, he demurred, and gave Nev Fountain his blessing to write the piece. For some listeners, there could be a sense that the script charges as every open door it can find, and pounds the comedy home a little hard, but it’s very much in the style of Hitch-Hiker’s comedy, and you have to do a lot wrong to mess that up. Neither Lloyd nor Fountain does that much wrong here, so you end up with a breathless but funny philosophical sprint through a handful of problems, all of which bridge the gap between the Lloyd/Adams universe and the more mainstream Doctor Who version. 

The Doomsday Contract is a smart, fast, funny, more than a little screwball satire on a lot of irritating things, with the sense of a fictional universe of absurdity, chicanery, clashing impossible realities and often the little species in the middle getting squeezed. For those who loved the idea of the Earth being demolished to make a new hyperspace bypass, it’s a return to a universe which was, however briefly, entirely intertwined with the reality of Doctor Who, and as such, it’s both endangered and precious itself, and should be cherished. 

For those who found the Adams/Williams era unbearably silly and wanted stories about real, hard science and how important it was, this one’s going to drive you spare. Best move along to a different audio universe where serious science applies.

Fans Fiction The Eternal Diamond: Part Two The Key to Everything by S. Florence

 



6pm came just as Cook finished setting the dinner table in the dining room for 3 people. Lady Christina, The Doctor and himself seeing as he was an integral part of everything that occurred within the manor walls. The sound of wheezing engines broke the silence and a warm gust of wind blew the swan like origami napkins from the place settings and into the pea soup warming on the serving sideboard. Cook huffed with resignation as the dining room door flew open and Lady C came bustling in in her dressing gown and pyjamas, not wanting to give the new lady Doctor anything to fancy about her seeing as she had snogged her once when she was a man! Waiting with baited breath for the Tardis doors to open and slightly unnerved that all she was thinking about was that kiss! She gave a sideways glance at the sideboard and pulled a confused face. 

“Cook, why are their napkins in the pea soup?”

“Erm, no idea MI ‘Lady, must ‘ave been Hugo. I’ll flog the silly old git later”

“Well, I’m not eating it. Go fetch the steak whilst I greet the Doctor” 

Cook nodded and left the room mumbling under his breath. “If by steak yer mean fish ‘n’ chips from the chippy down south street then yeh alright”

Cook left and the Tardis doors opened and an old man stepped out looking very frail and slightly confused, not only at his surroundings but at the woman in front of him who seemed to be dressed for bed. 

“Hello, did you call? I’m the Doctor! Well, what is it girl?”

Christina stared slightly open mouthed for a bit and frowned, trying to respond to the dodgy looking pensioner in front of her feeling slightly nauseous as she tried to push the image of that snog out of her mind before she spoke.
 “You’re the Doctor? Really? Oh dear, what happened? I know it’s been a few years since we last met but has it really been long enough for you to have aged so much and you’re a man again I see. Did you get my message, the one about the key?”

Unknown to Christina, phoning the time vortex to reach the Doctor was a very fractured experience in that there were so many versions of him zooming about in space and time that it was impossible to know which version of him you would get! And, unbeknown to her, she had reached the very first version of him, a man so old and yet so young by comparison that he had never met nor heard of Lady Christina de Souza before and in fact in his time she hadn’t even been born yet!

“Oh, that was you was it? Yes, I got the message. It’s the year 2021 isn’t it? Very futuristic I must say although not as advanced as I imagined. Still using a basic cellular device for contact when its very easy to establish mind to mind connections, you just need to concentrate more. If you’re looking for the Omnia Clavis then you’re out of luck, it was stolen from me some time ago. It is strange though because as soon as I received your message the Tardis locked onto the Omnia and brought me here, to this house and in this time. It is said that the key will only present itself when an acceptable trade is offered for it, so what do you have my dear?

   Christina stared somewhat confused as the old man rattled on in what seemed to be a very old-fashioned dialect and offered him one her of best educated responses…. “huh?”

“My dear, what have I stumbled into? It seems the human race has travelled backwards and not progressed forwards. I am the Doctor, the original you might say and by the look of confusion spreading across that pretty face of yours I would say you were not expecting me but possibly a newer version of me, is that Correct?”

Christina nodded

“Your primitive communications devices found me in the time vortex, it is how we travel through time and space and on a day when I myself was looking for something valuable to me so the two connections have been made and here I am. You called me and I arrived. That is how it works but not in the order one wishes it would. Are you in possession of an eternal diamond by chance? One you wish to trade for the Omnia Clavis? The key to everything?”

   Understanding slightly more than she originally did, Christina nodded, still open mouthed and possibly dribbling but she managed to regain her composure as the mention of the key.

“Yes! Yes, I have the diamond but I am confused, the key has been in my family for years, at least 100 or so and it has been passed down to me by my family lastly my father who left it to me in his will. I had no idea what it was until you, or a future you turned up here 2 years ago and took it from me claiming it was some kind of key to the universe and would only be returned once I returned to you the diamond which I had stolen from you, namely the eternal diamond. The thing is, I hadn’t actually stolen it from anyone at that time and I had to go looking for it and literally only came across it last week and stole it from a jeweller last night so none of this is making any sense”

   The Doctor listened with great interest and great boredom and wondered why he bothered to save the human race anymore when all they did was babble on and dribble down the front of their bed clothes.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, I would just like to know if you have the diamond? If you do then bring it to me, if it is indeed the eternal diamond then the key shall be returned to you”

“But you said the key was stolen from you, so you don’t have it do you?”

“That is true but as I said before if you had cared to listen, the key will present itself when there is a compatible trade for it. I do not know who stole it from me, only that it was and it ended up within your family meaning you had it all along”

   No one ever said time travel was easy and the inconsistencies of jumping time were starting to show. Nothing ever ran in a smooth straight line so nothing ever would make sense, a situation the Doctor had come to terms with long ago and now never questioned but one the humans would never get their tiny brains around.  Before he could insist she bring him the diamond, the dining room door opened and Cook walked in with 3 bags of fish ‘n’ chips and large box containing the diamond which he placed on the table and opened.

“The eternal diamond. Thought to be alien in origin but no beggar knows. Whats’it do then?”

   The Doctor stepped forward and took a closer look and smiled before reaching out for it and placing it inside his coat.

 “It is the heart of a storm on my home planet of Gallifrey. Without the storm our crops cannot grow and we cannot feed ourselves. It was lost during the Autumn Rains of Never, and we feared it had gone forever and how it turned up on earth I do not know but with our last stocks diminishing from the 5 years without the storm, we can now farm our lands again”

“It was Cooks turn to look confused” You’d be better off getting’ yerselves a Tesco I reckon”

Once he had the diamond safely in his possession the strangest thing happened. The sound of wheezing engines followed by a warm familiar wind brought another Tardis into the dining room making Cook step back with fear and panic so he was using Lady C as a human shield just in case the Time Lords had come to invade Earth. Instead, the door opened and a woman with a blonde bob stepped out sinking Christina’s heart completely as she was still hoping her Doctor, the man she had met on the bus, would one day come back for her and take her travelling among the stars whilst they did some more snogging.

“Brilliant!” The second Doctor explained as she looked round the room. “No 13, or is it 14? I never know but hello number 1, got the diamond I see? That’s so cool! I knew we wouldn’t all starve to death cos well, future stuff and all that but I had forgotten a lot of it which is why I made a mental note to myself, bit like an alarm clock, to come here at various points in time to set this all up. The eternal diamond originally fell through a crack in time landing in the jewellery shop just 2 days ago. Obviously, no one reported it stolen cos no one knew it was there but I needed a thief to get it for me and I needed me to come at the right time to get it back, the right time being just a few days after it was lost. With me so far? In order to do that, I had to convince Christina here to get it for me and not try and sell it on herself so I went back in time to another me, number 10, the handsome one with the hair? Took a valuable family heirloom which was the key then travelled back in time again to me being number 1, left it in his Tardis with a note telling him what it was and that he was to keep it safe and then a few regenerations later when I remembered cos, I do sometimes forget stuff, I went and stole it back off him leaving him with the memory of a fabled key to everything that would present itself at the right time to its rightful owner. Then, I gave it to a young woman called Angela de’ Castiel as a wedding present to the 5th earl of Norway and told her to keep it safe as it was a magic key that could open anything which then became a family fairy story and something of a mystery that would reveal itself at the right time to the right person, then I stole it back off Lady Christina here 2 years ago and when I knew it was time for her to steal the diamond, I did a bit of jiggery pokery on the internet so she would find what she was looking for, and here I am to give the key back now I have the diamond back! Bit of time stuff in-between but it got the job done otherwise Gallifrey would have died long before the time war and nothing I’d done since then would have made any difference to the universe and the earth would have died too”!

   Finished rambling she took a very deep breath and looked very proud of herself, grinning happily as everyone including the other Doctor looked on in complete fascination.

“What time war? What do you mean?” He bellowed at her with etched concern that furrowed his brow in shock.

“OH bugger, erm yeah nothing for you to worry about gramps, you’ll be long gone by then especially if you don’t get the diamond back to the heart of the storm”

   The first Doctor assuming his beloved home world was under attack, left as quickly as he arrived without so much as a thankyou or a nod of appreciation to lady C and her butler leaving lady C and her butler to turn to the new lady Doctor for questioning with one of the questions from Cook wanting to know if she was single which was met with a hard look of menace from her ladyship causing him to lower his head in shame and mumble… “Well, you snogged her so why can’t I?”

“SO, the key? Do you have it? What does it do exactly? I was never left any instructions as to what it opened by my father only that he said it would open something one day when the time was right and I would never want for anything every again, so do you have it?”

The Doctor took the key from her coat pocket and handed it to Christina with a genuine look of remorse on her face.

“I’m sorry Lady C, it’s just a key and one I planted in your family history as a decoy so that I could convince you to get my diamond back. It really doesn’t do anything, it’s just an heirloom now with a bizarre history attached to it. It is alien though, cos I got it from a market stall on the planet Diarumous, but I’ve scanned it and it really is just a key, probably to an old relic of a castle somewhere judging by its size but I really couldn’t tell you where.”

Shrugging, she spied the bag of fish and chips on the table and grabbed one for herself. “Cheer’s mate, love a bit of fish, anyway gotta be going now, planets to save and all that. Laters!”

   Before anyone could say anything more, she left and the Tardis disappeared into the night leaving Cook rather red faced at his indecent proposal and Christina rather red faced from her burning anger at being taken for a fool, used and cheated out of something magical and wonderful that had filled her head with wonder for all of her life, The Key to everything!

She slammed it into Cook’s hand with disgust and took her own fish ‘n’ chips to bed with her to sulk away the night as she attempted to plan a way to get the Doctor back. Cook took his own meal into the kitchen and dumped the key in the bin knowing the bin men would be arriving in the morning and as he sat outside the kitchen door on an old wooden chair eating his fish supper, in the bin unknown to him, the key had stared to glow!

 

The End

Interviews The Nathan Wyburn Interview by DJ Forrest

 

 

Have you always made portraits from bits and pieces of anything? 

Nathan: For the past decade yes! I love using everyday items that anyone kind of has laying around or are easily accessible in a supermarket! 

Were you always interested in alternative art? What or who got you into alternative art? It's really impressive.

Nathan: Thank you! It was always portraits; Andy Warhol was a huge inspiration. The alternative (weird) art began with a toast and Marmite portrait of Simon Cowell! Then I was hooked! 

Do you create your pieces in a controlled area? (As in, if you're working with soil and it's a windy day outside, would that hamper your work, and so you'd work indoors?) 

Nathan: There’s a lot to think about! Wind, birds stealing my toast... haha! Things many artists wouldn’t have to consider but I find that’s the fun of it! I love location pieces but also my studio, is my happy place! 

When you're working with any piece of art, especially when you're creating your toast and marmite portraits, do you work from a sketch first, or do you know exactly which piece is going to go where? 


Nathan: I pretty much go straight for it, if I’m filming, I’ll sketch some outlines if it’s on a canvas for guidance - but if it’s food, generally just dive right in! 

Where did your imagination begin for art work? 

Nathan: A newspaper headline about Simon Cowell that said you love him or hate him... I thought MARMITE! Then began the journey... pizza, chocolate, make up etc it all happened! 

Did you ever expect it to take off into, say a full-time job? 

Nathan: Not at all. I think that’s always a worry for creatives, I use social media as my gallery and I think that’s helped a lot along the way - as well as a good few TV appearances. 

How much preparation time do you do between each portrait? 

Nathan: Next to nothing to be honest - I work so fast and I have to be on the ball with what current events I’m depicting. It’s very impulsive and reactive to world events and celebrity stories. 

Have you been commissioned to create artwork for anyone in the Who/Torchwood world? 

Nathan: Not for the specially but by fans or events such as Wales Comic Con etc!I’ve created portraits of Russell T Davies using fake blood fingerprints based on his latest series It’s a Sin. I’ve made John Barrowman by literally torching wood... several Eve Myles artworks, Billie Piper in lipstick, David Tennant on a pizza... the list goes on! 


What is the biggest challenge when you're creating art pieces? What challenges have you experienced or faced when putting together an exhibition of your work for the public? 

Nathan: Every day is a new day on the job for me. I love trying out new things. Mostly it’s just weather challenges or kids trying to steal the food haha! Nothing too serious but that’s part of the fun!! 

Aside from the art work, do you work in any other capacity? 

Nathan: Yes, I have a radio show on Radio Cardiff, I do a lot of charity work and also sing a little bit too. I’d love to present my own art show! 

Who is your inspiration for your artwork? 

Nathan: Andy Warhol mostly - but my ideas come from world news and current affairs. 

As I'm sure you're a big fan of Torchwood, or of Eve Myles, have you ever met any of the stars of the show - with living in Wales, you must have seen a few, out shopping maybe :D I loved your Keeping Faith art of Eve. That was amazing. 

Nathan: Thank you! Eve has become a good friend, which is so lovely to be able say. Also, I converse with Russell a lot online - he’s such an incredible talent! I’ve met all of the cast at different points, at the BAFTA’s, in theatre or whilst working at Con’s. 


When you're not working on any project, how do you relax? Or are you always planning your next project? 

Nathan: Always thinking and planning! But I’m a big fan of long walks and a good hot bath!!! 

For many, the lockdown's have been pretty hard. I'd imagine for yourself; Lockdown has been a kind of blessing - plenty of projects to keep you going - but have there been any dark days when you've felt pretty low - how did you resolve them? 

Nathan: Yes. More so at the start it was just such a worry with all my travelling and work getting cancelled. But I locked myself in my studio - and created work about the world changing! There was nothing else to do! I’m proud to say I’ve made some of my favourite work in this time and kept myself going pretty well!! People needed ART! 


What are you looking forward to once Lockdown is lifted and we're all vaccined? 

Nathan: Travelling! Making art all around the world and having a good ole party! 

With your images of John Barrowman, Russell T Davies, and Eve Myles, I have to ask - are you a fan of Torchwood? 

Nathan: Of course!! I loved it the first time round and watched it all again on BBC iPlayer during lockdown!!! 

Eve Myles holding a baby whilst shooting guns... perfection! 

What advice would you give someone who wanted to start creating artwork today? 

Nathan: Just be true to you! Make work that means a lot to you and you can’t go far wrong. 

If you could meet your 12-year-old self, what advice would you give him? 

Nathan: Keep working! You’re in for a hell of a ride if you just believe in yourself!! 


Did I hear that you're going to be in a film about one of your events? Can you tell us more about that? 

Nathan: Sure, it’s already been press released last year which is exciting. Eve Myles is writing a Christmas movie about one of my events I put on with my best mate and radio co presenter Wayne. It was called Dragged To Church. It’ll be based upon how the church approached two members of the LGBTQ community (us) for help to raise money for essential repairs. We gathered local drag queens to put on a festive show like no other. It was joyous and ground-breaking! We are so excited to be working with Eve. She’s an icon! 

And finally, what would be your biggest ambition as an artist? 

Nathan: To have my own art show and to make a difference. 

Diolch yn fawr Nathan.

If you want to find out more about Nathan and his artwork or follow him on social media, here are a few links you might need. Also look out for him in the Cardiff Life Magazine and tune in to Radio Cardiff. 

www.nathanwyburn.com

Twitter, Facebook & Instagram @NathanWyburnArt

www.youtube.com/wyzynathan

 

Columnist at Cardiff Life Magazine

Presenter at Radio Cardiff