Tony could really go for a prawn cocktail.
There are villains and
monsters that immediately cry out for a repeat engagement with the Doctor, and
then there are villains and monsters that, with the best will in the world,
simply don’t. But if Big Finish has proved anything, it’s that it can take the
least promising creatures (the Voord, say), and completely revolutionise what
we know and what we think about them. That said, the company’s track record in
doing this has had its downs as well as its ups – The Exxilons fell
rather flat in terms of adding great swathes to our understanding. So when you
write a sequel to 1977’s The Invisible Enemy, which was rather let down
by some of its visual realisation on screen, you have two choices. You can
adopt the idea that what we saw on TV in 1977 was 1977’s translation of the real
Swarm, the real Nucleus, and that now it actually looks so much cooler than
that through the medium of audio, or you can jump in with both feet, keep
referencing the points of design and make-up naffness from 1977 and well and
truly get stuck in to a world where a microscopic prawn wants to take over the
universe.
So which is The Revenge
of the Swarm – triumph or tragedy?
Honestly, it’s not really
either. But just possibly, it’s both.
First of all, let’s clear
up any speculation – we’re in ‘gosh that’s naff, it looks like a giant prawn’
territory. In fact, the joke is played rather too often for a laugh that
depends on the audience a) Knowing what the Nucleus of the Swarm looked like in
1977, b) finding it endearingly funny, and c) having enough of a sense of
humour to chuckle at the idea of taking it seriously. Even those who err on the
Graham Williams/Douglas Adams side in the ‘seriousness’ debate though will
laugh with exponentially decreasing frequency as the naff prawniness of the
Nucleus is used for riff after riff.
The Revenge of the
Swarm is, according
to writer Johnathan Morris, the ‘Godfather II’ to The Invisible Enemy’s
original. What he means by that is that the first two episodes act as a prequel
to The Invisible Enemy, and the second two episodes act as its sequel. The
danger, with a story like that is a bittiness of tone, and of ending up with a
story that’s more like two half-stories welded together than a coherent,
rounded, full-bodied and involving tale. After all, Morris himself describes The
Godfather II as the ‘deleted scenes from the first movie, and some stuff
that never made it from the book into the first film’. While The Godfather
II has had great success and is even (with a straight face, no less)
regarded by many critics as better than the original, thinking of it as a bunch
of deleted scenes is perhaps not the most coherent strategy to adopt when
writing what could be an updated, new, challenging story for the Swarm.
Sadly, the cut-and-shunt
feeling not a danger that Morris particularly avoids. The first two episodes
show the Nucleus of the Swarm not in fact having been defeated at all by Tom
Baker’s Fourth Doctor but hiding out in the Tardis itself, just waiting for the
right moment to emerge and – and this is a thing that never particularly makes
much sense – witness or ensure its own creation in the first place. None of
that philosophical ‘I think, therefore I am’ cobblers for the Swarm, oh no – it
wants to ensure its own creation, for some reason not trusting that its current
existence predicates that creation. It’s a bit of a storytelling reach, mostly
to show us the listener the moment of the Swarm’s creation.
Which is all very nice as
far as it goes – it would have made a great subscriber’s extra as a simple
two-parter, with the Seventh Doctor, Ace and Hector unable to actually defeat
the Swarm’s plans, because they’re as aware as it must be of its own creation
as a fact, but they appear to get this idea rather more than does the Swarm
itself.
But then for episodes
three and four, we’re catapulted forward in time to after The Invisible
Enemy, when the Swarm has become not a biological but a computer virus,
placing itself in the hub of all information flow between the colony worlds of
Earth in a vast number of systems. That means the Doctor, Ace and later Hector
all being digitised and fighting the wretched thing in a computer-generated
environment that feels like it should be much more scary. The Nucleus is reborn
in the physical world and then sets about absorbing energy to grow to the size
of a planet, necessitating a two-pronged attack which eventually renders it
probably not quite extinct again.
As stories go, episodes
three and four could work, but because they’ve been cut and shunted onto the
prequel episodes, there’s no time to really get to know or understand the
characters we meet who befriend the Tardis team, so they end up feeling like
little more than ciphers to a plot never given the space to develop.
In essence, Revenge of
the Swarm feels like a fun, frivolous giveaway two-parter called Genesis
of the Swarm (and yes, the Swarm actually uses the G-word about itself) and
what should have been a full, separate four-parter, released at a later date,
but instead has had two crucial episodes cut out and been welded onto the
prequel. The tone doesn’t really connect and the accelerator seems to be stuck
on from the word go in episode three.
A roaring success, then?
No, sadly not. It does
tick a lot of fan boxes though - after all, it’s the Swarm, and John Leeson
reprises his role as the Nucleus as though it was just last week he originally
played it. What’s more, everyone likes an origin story, even if it’s not a
particularly good or original one. But
in a second half full of ‘who-the-hell-are-you-again’ moments, there’s very
little development of Ace or Hector – and what there is feels repetitive from
other Hector stories; Ace trying to get him to remember being Hex, him flying
off the handle and saying ‘don’t compare me to him’ in exactly the same
intonation as Hex would have used. McCoy’s Doctor is also given surprisingly
little to really do – the story appears to unfold at his feet, with one or two
useful moments that could have been delivered by an OmniDoctor.
Ultimately, Revenge of
the Swarm could have been significantly better had the two ‘halves’ of the
story not been forced to act as a single entity, because in that process of
turning two stories into one, the second story is left with too much to do, and
too little time in which to do it well.
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