Barrowman raises Tony’s expectations
Captain Jack Harkness – immortal,
swaggering, saving the world, wearing the coat…pregnant?
Yep – that’s the premise of this story
from Xanna Eve Chown. The idea of a pregnant Jack was mentioned back in earlier
Torchwood, and here we get to hear how that went – at least one of the times.
It’s not perhaps the most romantic of
scenarios – Jack is acting as surrogate to the ruler of the Yalnix Empire. The Yalnix,
as a by-product of a seemingly eternal war with the nameless, and now formless
Vad, aren’t able to carry their offspring to full-term, and so use surrogates
from other species to take the job of reproduction over that final line. Hence
Pregnant Jack. The Yalnix are by no means particularly unkind when it comes to
this process though – unlike the Nostrovites, who pulled the same trick on Gwen
in Something Borrowed but with significantly less by way of consent. The
Yalnix provide a personalised midwife to help the surrogate through the
process, and keep both the surrogate and the offspring safe, calm, and most
notably alive until the next generation are successfully spawned.
We mentioned that this is Captain Jack
Harkness, right?
Running, jumping, falling off buildings,
explodey, shooty, laughy Jack Harkness. Captain Jack ‘Keeping The World Safe
With Guns And Cheekbones’ Harkness.
He’s a midwife’s nightmare.
In particular, he’s Jonty’s nightmare –
Jonty (Aaron Anthony) being the one charged with keeping this swaggering
disaster area safe as he decides to work late into his pregnancy, doing his
thing, keeping Cardiff and the Earth safe from alien encroachment and gittery.
When buildings fall down and things blow
up and there’s jumping off roofs involved, Jonty’s like a risk assessor along
for the ride, his caution marked out by a particular habit of referring to
himself in the third person – ‘Jonty does not like this!’ is heard quiiiite a
few times over the course of Expectant.
If it weren’t enough that Jack Harkness
has to keep a gestating baby safe inside himself, there is of course the small
matter of the Vad, who are really quite keen to get their hands on the next
ruler of their mortal enemies the Yalnix. Battlefleets, electric death, you
know the drill. Tuesday in Torchwood.
Jack and Jonty’s Pregnant Adventure
therefore involves quite a bit of running away, more than an agreeable amount
of hiding in sewers (just what you want when you’re in the last stages of a
pregnancy), rather more logical hiding out in a health spa, where Jack’s bump
is mistaken for a touch of male over-indulgence by Paula, spa-runner and health
Nazi, played with a neat ear for snack-abomination and discipline by Catherine
Ayers. When things get unexpectedly Day of The Dead in the spa, Jack has
no alternative but to call in Ianto to make a rapid getaway, and drive him to
the birthing ship, while the next ruler of the Yalnix breaks Jack’s bones from
the inside like a turd with a sledgehammer.
It would be cruel and spoilerific to
tell you exactly what’s going on, but suffice it to say, it’s a touch more
complicated than you might think it is – certainly, Jonty’s eventual
explanation of what’s going on is enough to melt one side of your brain, and
enough to make Jack’s craving for crisps go off the charts. But, while some
listeners might think of this as just ‘Pregnant Jack On A Romp,’ and while
there’s cause for questioning some of Jack’s mood swing reactions, from snappy
to wailingly humble to petulant and on to weeping as somewhat stereotypical of
the pregnancy experience, the point of this story is really very firmly in the
background, rather than the foreground. Because this is a story set after the
end of Series 2 and the events that cause the deaths of Tosh and Owen, and
the…complications with Captain John and Jack’s brother Gray. This is a Jack in
need of a reset, a Jack who needs to do something good and to believe in it if
he’s to go forward with the whole world-saving schtick. Hence, bringing life into
the world, albeit in a surrogate capacity. His mission here – the imperative of
safely bringing the next ruler of the Yalnix into being – is actually more
important to him than he usually lets on, or than the side effects of his
pregnancy allow him frequently to express. This is Jack adding to the sum total
of life in the universe – an unusual position for an immortal to be in. It also
of course draws us darkly on to the events of Children Of Earth. Knowing
what’s to come, we as listeners are extra-invested in hearing Jack’s adventures
on the way to such a positive outcome. We want him to have this one, to
have this memory, this day of productivity and bounty and above all, kindness.
Because the darkness will soon be upon Jack Harkness, and the world, and its
children.
As a listen, this story’s got plenty of
fun for the would-be rompers, with only occasional moments of quiet and
reflection. When they hit though, Xanna Eve Chown makes them really hit,
so that the episode doesn’t drift away on a tide of its own froth and the funny
reactions of a pregnant man. What you get is all the fun of the running around
with a rookie spectator on the life of reckless, immortal Jack Harkness, all
the almost-obligatory pregnant man stuff as a leavening agent along the way,
and also both Jack’s need to put some good back into the universe as a kind of
penance for the events that got his friends killed, and Ianto’s difficult,
conflicted reaction to such a demented, extreme course of therapy as the
delivery of a child – and one, incidentally, that isn’t his! Without any one of
those elements, there’s a danger Expectant would topple into either
sentimentality or farce, but with them all in place, the result is a romp with
consequences, an emotionally balanced script which delivers drama and comedy
and forward motion without ever going too far in any of its directions.
Expectant may be based on a comedic initial
premise, but it delivers above that pay grade and adds emotional beats to the
story of Jack’s development and the relationship he and Ianto are in the
process of forging, en route to Children of Earth. The comedic
audience is absolutely served, but there’s enough gravitas here too to make Expectant
an easy, satisfying, head-nodding listen. Give it a listen today – and start
panting.
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