Written by Simon Guerrier
For BBC Books
I was expecting a jolly
good read of pirates and the high seas, so I guess, I shouldn’t have been too
disappointed in that, but I was. Although looking back on it, a few weeks after
I initially put pen to paper to write my review, seeing badgers as pirates,
would have been nothing unusual, when, if you think about it, I’ve been
enjoying the pursuits of a raccoon bandit in Guardians of the Galaxy.
The Doctor and Martha
visit the star ship Brilliant at least a week before it vanishes without a
trace, to find out what had caused that to happen. They discover a ballroom
full of 8 legged creatures who enjoy the high life a little too much, and
aren’t afraid, at first, to air their opinions at being controlled by a bunch
of Badger faced bandits, there to steal the experimental drive in the engine
room.
When Martha and the Doctor
first arrive, they encounter creatures without mouths, which I could only
envisage as creatures from Monsters Inc (now who’s being a child?). They at
first look menacing, but then I suppose if you don’t have a mouth, it would be
as frustrating, or creepy as if you wore only a mask - no facial expression.
The Badger faced pirates
(not bandits) are caught up in some kind of space fugg that stops them advancing
onboard the ship, unlike three who manage to land before the scrambled egg
stuff blocks the rest of the fleet. They can’t attack the ship, unlike the
first three, so don’t reap the rewards of finger foods, unlike Archibald, who
learns that cheese and pineapple on sticks is the best thing he’s ever tasted.
However, when his comrades locate him, it’s a different story, they become
menacing and shoot at the prisoners they’ve now collected. And this is where
the story bends – people don’t die. It’s as if the ship is protecting them,
resetting the game play, restocking plates of food, sending people back to the
start, but it only happens when you take your eye off the game.
Of course, when poor
Martha is stabbed by Archie, and promptly dies, she doesn’t come back to the
ballroom like the 8 legged creatures. In fact, she doesn’t come back at all,
and Archie feels terrible.
The Doctor is hell bent on
finding out what happened to her, is overjoyed when he does, and sets about
trying to fathom why things happen the way they do onboard the ship, and more
to the point, where the crew are, who leave the prisoners, I mean, guests, to
their own devices.
Although I have
reservations with the story, it is still quite entertaining. There are plenty
of characters to keep you amused, and many to root for, even those you wouldn’t
have considered rooting for in the first instance. Of course, the ending is a
little lame, but then, it depends on how you like your endings. I found it too
clean, to easily wound up, too much like ‘…and they all lived happily ever
after.’
I’ve heard great things
about Simon Guerrier, so I’m hoping the next novel of his I read, will keep me
entertained till the end, instead of searching for a teleport out of the good
ship Brilliant!
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