Written
by Jane Austen
And
Seth Grahame-Smith
Screenplay
by Burr Steers
Released
February 11th 2016 (UK)
February
5th 2016 (US)
Did I not say once after
watching the film, Pride and Prejudice, that what they were lacking were a few
bog monsters?
In the original story by
Jane Austen, the four Bennet sisters
were of an age that required them to be married, as far as their mother was
concerned. There was Mr Darcy, a duck pond and a very wet white shirt. And,
well, basically that was it. If you know the Classic story, then you’ll know
all the characters, those who were flirty with the Bennet girls and those who
were downright scoundrels. I stomached about 20 minutes of the original film,
and gave up with the book at the first page. Sorry, but I’m a sci fi guy.
Pride and Prejudice and
Zombies has one extra sister, still Mr Darcy, duck pond and wet white shirt,
and their mother is still trying to marry them off. So, sticking fairly close
to the original premise.
The story of the five
Bennet sisters and Mr Darcy are played out fairly well, but instead of the
girls darning or sewing, they were well equipped to do battle with monsters
through their knowledge of Martial Arts and trained in the art of weaponry, so
it was quite funny seeing them sitting in their once sewing room, cleaning
their weapons before donning their gear and heading out to slay a few zombies.
The story kicks off smack
bang in the middle of a zombie invasion. Through a series of illustrations
during the opening credits, we learn about why there are zombies in 1813
England, which helps, considerably.
Pride and Prejudice and
Zombies is a comedy. Sure, it’s gory and the makeup for the zombies is
absolutely fantastic and the baby, oh my Gallifrey, think of the creepiness of
the baby in Trainspotting 20 years ago, and I Am Alone and crank it up a notch,
and its shivers down the spine.
Charles Dance plays Mr
Bennet, the father of the five girls, while Lena Headey is the eye patch
zombie slayer, and looks damn cool in that outfit. Charles isn’t in the film
all that often, but hey, this is Charles Dance, he doesn’t even have to speak,
it’s Charles Dance for Gallifrey sake.
So why am I watching this comedy?
Matt Smith plays the
clergyman who is smitten for one of the sisters and wishes to marry her, only
to find she is smitten to another. Later on, he becomes smitten with the head
sister who is in love with Darcy. He proposes that she give up the warrior
life, which of course she doesn’t. It’s quite possible that all of this is in
the classic story, but with added zombies just to juice things up a tad.
There were a few drawbacks
in the film.
The entire cast, bar
Charles Dance, seemed to spend much of their time, muttering. It wasn’t clear
what they were saying, and having had the volume on medium, I had to thump it
up just to hear their voices, before whacking it back down when the music and
action kicked in.
Mr Darcy was a huge let-down,
you couldn’t warm to him at all. He looked more like the child catcher from
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and showed none of the charisma that Colin Firth had
portrayed in the original classic film. I kept hoping for zombies to get him in
the duck pond as I’d hoped Colin Firth would have had to battle bog monsters to
justify his wet clothing.
For entertainment value, it’s
enough of a comedy not to give you nightmares, but it doesn’t hold the
concentration enough to make you want to buy the film.
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