Time Agency, John Hart and Con Artist (History Tends to Repeat Itself) Part 2
So The Time Agency, it didn't live up to its expectations as people first thought it would. Lot of feud behind it and it was standing on unsteady grounds. Quite a bit happened behind the scenes they didn't let on about, which ten out of ten we needed to know. They sent us on all sorts of mission all over time, some dangerous some not so dangerous. You had to deliver the goods in the end or else you never got your bounty or what you were entitled to. You needed to work your way up the ranks, be top dog or they would just cross you off. I know that now, looking back on it all, but I was young, didn't listen and just went my own way. Actually nothing has really changed in that department. I still look good, a little more experienced, only a grey hair that bugs me! I don't really listen; I'd pay attention if I thought it was worth the time. Go in places guns blazing – not waving. It's my way, or no way so take the high way - as the saying goes.
Sometimes you worked in pairs and the Agency always had a habit – a good habit at that – of pairing yours truly with a certain John Hart, or John Hart with yours truly – me. We had been good partners in every way you can think of so that meant good for business, oh yes, need I say more? If I have to be honest with myself and that is the only person I am honest with, John was my type of guy. He wasn't afraid to flirt (a lot!) or say what he thought. We were both from the fifty first century, we had similar views (at the time) and generally an awful lot in common – back then, which I liked.
We started to do a lot more together, mixing both business with pleasure. In fact, it's safe to say we went out of control. Great sex, drink more than your average, more sex, con someone, celebrate after with the winning, get stuck in a Time Loop! Ah, I'm glad we've come to that. We spent what we thought was five years in a Time Loop, which turned out to be just only two weeks. It was the longest two weeks of my life and for the record John made a fantastic, fantastic, fantastic wife.
Meeting Captain John Hart was a bonus that leads to lust, that lead to disaster, because I had met my match. I put trust into John that I never have dared to, with anyone else before or after. I told him what I was looking to achieve with finding my brother Gray. He told me he would help and he did for a while, but he was committed into an alcohol rehab and I didn't hang around much after that for him to finish the therapy. Oh and I'm so glad I didn't, he went onto a further rehab for sex, drugs and murder! We made quite a team to begin with, but we just drifted apart, we never stayed in touch, but one thing is for sure, he didn't stop trying to find my brother. He got his hands on Gray first. More about that later.
My patience was wearing very thin with the Agency by now, they weren't feeding me missions as they used to and I found out they took two years of my memory. Two years! Ridiculous! I could have done anything and when I say anything, I mean anything! I left the Agency shortly after, if not immediately after I found out about the two years and became a rogue Time Agent, a Time Traveller, a con artist! To that day till this I never found out what I did in those missing years. I can think about it, but nothing comes back to me. I hope one day I will find out.
Not giving up searching, but putting my primary motives to the side for a while, I started to have a lot more fun along the way. I got my hands on a beautiful Chula Warship from a very gorgeous lady; I can't remember her name now. I took the ship out on a test drive and like I told her I’d be back in five minutes – heck, what she didn't know was that she'd be waiting for a very long time.
During my late twenties and early thirties, I made numerous short trips back and forth through time and space, most to World War II or Pompeii. For a self-cleaning con man, those two times eras were brilliant for the way I dealt with things. Don't forget to set your alarm clock for Volcano day. I picked up almost every good, bad and the ugly habits and tricks in the trade as I went along, becoming a confident con man and even though I say so myself, I was rather good at it.
My con being – find some harmless, useless pieces of space junk, which I would catapult through time and space. At this time I was still fuming with The Time Agency so I targeted people working for them, or who I thought was working for them. I let the nearest Time Agent track the junk back to Earth to some turbulent time period – hence World War II and Pompeii. Once it had got some travellers' attention, I would tell them that it was valuable rare warship and offer to sell them the location. I convince them it's valuable, let them name the right price. When they've put at least fifty percent up front, I would always make sure that the unlucky punter turned up too late, so that the junk would be destroyed forever buried beneath volcanic ash or blown up by Nazi bombs.
So basically I was performing various scams using my knowledge of future and past events, such as demanding money for items that I knew would be destroyed before the buyer could see it. Finding pieces of space junk and directing them to soon-to-be disaster sites, I would sell them to passers-by, then allow the items to get destroyed before the buyers could pick up their merchandise. The punter never got to see what they paid for, never knew they've been had. I would then buy them a drink, with their own money and discuss dumb luck. The perfect self-cleaning con! After I would pocket the rest of the money and leave them behind and strike it off as another successful days work.
I told you before; I did things I'm far from proud of.
©BBC Torchwood 2006