11.13. April 2014,
Birmingham
One or two days before
the “Miracle Day” Convention John Barrowman announced on his Twitter that he
had unexpectedly a weekend off, and would be found at the Hollywood convention.
I guess that is in
Hollywood.
I admit, it made me
quite sad. I mean, technically I had known there was no chance he would be in
Birmingham anyway, as he is one, in the US at the moment and two, shooting more
“Arrow” but for me he still clearly was at the wrong convention.
But you know what? It
was still great fun! I had two friends with me for whom it was the first time
to see all those Torchwood stars, and it couldn’t have been a better
introduction. A nice small familiar event, around 300 fans I think, and with
Kai Owen, Gareth David-Lloyd, Naoko Mori, Dichen Lachman and of course Eve
Myles, who had initiated the whole thing, on stage together, it was expected to
be a blast.
We should have probably
been warned about what was to come at Friday evening at the opening ceremony.
Sean, head of Starfury events, tried to do a speech and introduce them but was
interrupted by shenanigans going on backstage.
You know, the screen they had
put up to show what’s happening on stage to the people in the back rows, worked
both ways. So we saw some shadowy figures, having fun with bananas or trying to
pick Sean’s nose on the screen.
He was at a loss for
words, and he admitted that was a first in the past 15 years of doing
conventions. And he ended with the now famous “Thank God John Barrowman isn’t here!”
Well, in the end he was
with us in spirit, as he got mentioned from those on stage quite a few times.
Or at least his balls. But more about that later.
When Gareth was supposed
to come to the stage, at first he was not visible, made only ghost-like noises
and we should all help with making him visible again. We tried hard, and it
worked, and out he came ;)
After the opening
ceremony we went straight to the room in which the Meet and Greet with the
stars for the owners of Gold tickets was supposed to happen. For once I was not
the first of our group and only got told later that we did not choose our table
ourselves, a guide asked how many we were and then placed us at a table in a
way so that at each table a chair was kept free for the star that would join us
later for a bit of small talk.
So just you know,
nothing that happened after that was our fault. Not at all. We immediately hit
off with the people on our table and had much fun with each other, we spent the
whole weekend together and went for meals in the evening and everyone that
heard us laughing was amazed to hear that two days ago we hadn’t even known
each other. And we were a well-mixed group from several different countries and
also mixed old con-experts and virgin newbies.
And there also was
Giorgio. Surely many of you have met him, he was just there because he is
friends with Dichen Lachman, who he had met at a con a few years ago. He had no
idea what Torchwood was but I hope we were able to convince him that it was a
show one absolutely must watch!
In the end, late in the
evening, a lonely girl from the next table came over, saying how she liked us
having fun, while apparently there had not been much interaction on her table,
the others just left without even saying good-bye. How rude.
So, the stars at a con
are one thing, but the most special thing is spending time with friends,
meeting old friends again and new ones for the first time, which you then look
forward to to meet again next year.
The downside is, that
with all the stuff going on, you sometimes are going to one thing while others
go to another, and you only meet in the hallway and in between “Hi!” and “I
have to catch my panel!” there is not much time to talk, and you can’t split
yourself in two. But then that’s what the hotel bar is for (I’m not one that
likes to go to the parties, the music is not the kind I like, and it’s way too
loud for me anyway. I’m getting old LOL)
So, back to the Meet and
Greet. The first on our table was Kai. I have been to Meet and Greets before
where the person sitting next to the star hogged all of his time alone and the
others never got a word in, but this did not happen here. Kai asked everyone
for his name, and where they were from, and if any of the Germans were from
Bavaria… LOL (I should probably mention that apparently Bavaria had beaten
Manchester in soccer a few days ago, but what do I know)
With Dichen we also
talked about Germany because it turned out that even though she is from
Australia, she has a German granddad! Which explains her last name Lachman, and
we translated her that it means laughing man. She hadn’t known that yet.
I don’t actually
remember much from our talks to Gareth and Naoko, but the reason for that is
that Eve Myles was found more often ON the tables instead of AT them, and while
standing there and having the full room’s attention, she announced that
tomorrow there would be a screening of the episode “Contrycide” and they would
do an audio commentary. And that we all should come in our pyjamas.
Several times ;)
In the end, it went like
this:
Eve: “What are we going to do tomorrow?”
Fans: “A screening!”
Eve: “Of what?”
Fans: “Countrycide!”
Eve: “And what do you all wear?”
Fans: “Pyjamas!!!”
And so on. And right now
I remember that Gareth had said this actually first at our table, that he would
crash the screening and do a commentary. And he asked us for the time it would
be on, and we gave it to him but later wondered how he would be able to do the
autographs and screening at the same time. Thankfully it then got switched to
an earlier time.
Eve spent way more than
just the five minutes on each table, got gifts and chocolates and drinks
everywhere and really had a blast. One girl had a self made resurrection glove,
and of course Eve took this chance to resurrect Gareth. I couldn’t see it well
because they were lying at the floor, but apparently she went for his special
bits. Of course ;)
It was already past midnight when she came to us, we were the second to last table and the room had emptied considerably. Everyone was partying on in the other room but after Eve had left it was time for us to say good-night, as we had a full weekend ahead of us and well, a little bit of sleep would be nice.
That
is me with the glove, but I did not make it:
On Saturday, there were
the photo sessions in the morning. Then
we were waiting what would happen next. While we did so, suddenly this guy –
Ian – came to the stage and took a picture with Gwen, dressed as Gwen. He got
quite a loud cheer for it! And he did look really good.
At noon, a new programme
part had been included. The Torchwood episode “Countrycide” was shown, and the
actors gave their running comments with it. And at least half the people in the
room had shown up in their pyjamas, as requested by Eve.
If you remember the
episode, it starts with the team driving in the SUV through the – well,
countryside, and Owen comments on the smell. Then John aka Jack is shown on the
wheel, and Gareth chanted “Gay – gay – gay – gay – gay…” Next we heard, was
Owen’s “It’s disgusting.” I’m the last person to make any bad jokes about
sexual orientation, but this was pretty funny as it was really right on the
beat. And it got only worse from there. Sadly (or maybe luckily?) I didn’t understand
some of the things they said ;) And I actually don’t remember much of the rest,
except for that story about John and his hangover and that he said they should
not film any close-ups of his face. Eve said he literally had just taken the
sunglasses off (the scene where they go into the house).
They also informed us in
every scene when John had been farting. I always wanted to know that ;)
In the middle of the
whole thing Kai also called Owen Teale and asked us all to shout “Because it
makes me happy, you … cheeky bastard” (can please someone fill in the missing
words? Do you remember them?)
After that, the panels
started in the afternoon. First up was Dichen Lachman. She had much to tell
about her new movie “Lust for Love” which has been crowdfunded and she asked if
any founders were in the audience, there were indeed some. And she was a
producer as well as an actress and had to worry all the time whether to re-do a
scene or leave it to not overstretch the budget.
They actually streamed
the movie for us the other day, which was really nice and if was a funny little
rom-com, about a guy who has no luck with the ladies and his friend (Dichen)
who tells him different tricks and of course he ends up with her in the end.
That was clear right from the beginning, but still there were some nice twists
and great comedy.
Well into the panel
someone asked if she could tell any stories from the Torchwood set. “Right,
that’s what we are here for after all!” she replied. Even though she played an
evil person in “Miracle Day”, the real Dichen was just lovely and cute. She
said how much of a family they all were on set, and that she already knew a few
of the crew from other projects and felt right at home. And she told the story
about John scaring her (he seems to like that?) and she had a bottle of water
which ended up all over him and they needed half an hour to get him dry again,
and they laughed for ten minutes straight.
The next panel was with
Naoko Mori and Gareth David-Lloyd. I have not written down all questions and
answers, but a few memorable quotes. For example, if they were to rename
“Torchwood”, what would it be? No hesitation: “John Barrowman’s balls”.
I also liked this
sentence from Gareth: “I wanted to go in a hail of bullets but ended up with an
alien fart.”
Naoko regretted that
Tosh and Owen never got that lunch. They also were asked to give advice for themselves.
Gareth: “Wear a gas suit!” Naoko: “Wear a bullet proof vest!”
The conversation came to
the new Doctor Peter Capaldi and Gareth told a bit how wonderful it was working
with him and Naoko looked at him: “He wasn’t in Torchwood?!?” Gareth replied:
“You were dead.”
Turned out, she never
had watched “Children of Earth” – and both of them never watched “Miracle Day”
because, well, they weren’t in it ;) That became one of the running gags
throughout the weekend.
Naoko not only didn’t
know the later “Torchwood” seasons but also nothing about “Harry Potter” or
“Game of Thrones”. She also told a funny story about when she was in “Doctor
Who” for the first time. She got the script but didn’t speak English very well
back then and looked up TARDIS in the dictionary. When she couldn’t find it,
she actually called a friend to ask what it was. After she had spelled it out
for him, he just hung up. Without an answer.
After those two it was
time for Kai Owen and Eve Myles. They also had quite a few funny ideas what the
show else could have been called:
“I’m
really 69”
“The
Teeth”
“The
John Barrowman show”
“Pressure
Pad”
“Tonight’s
the night”
“4
hours of makeover”
Apparently they were
prepared to go on like this for a while but we stopped there ;)
One question was also
about if they ever stole anything from the set. Kai was adamant: “I never stole
anything!” Eve: “Just my heart!” Awwwww!
Seeing the both of them
sitting there, it felt really like an old couple! They work so well together
and that is the reason why I am no Gwen/Jack shipper, sorry.
There was a moment where
we talked about which dead people they would like to bring back to the show.
For some reason or the other, Eve mentioned Anwen. Then they looked at each
other and realized that she is not dead ;) Same happened when she was asked
with which dead person she would like to spend an evening. That’s how the rumour
that Kathy Burke was dead got out. Kai actually got out his phone and pretended
to tweet about it LOL
There was also some very
bad joke to the absolutely innocent question what Rhys' mother was doing
nowadays. For some reason, Kai and Eve concluded that she was a prostitute –
and selling Crispy Cremes. Make the connection yourself ;)
After they said that,
Kai got his face into his hands and said: “Why do we say those things? At home
we are not like that, but as soon as we are at a convention…”
In the evening we also
got a costume contest but there were so many great costumes. I always love costume contests. Fans can be
so creative to make those things.
The first contestant was
also the smallest: Gareth's daughter Lily as Alice in Wonderland:
Not surprisingly, she
won the price for the best kid. She also was the only kid ;) Look at that proud
Daddy's face:
A
few Doctors
Ian as Gwen also took part. He
won a prize and got a big smooch by Kai Owen
This was the best:
Captain Jack and the alien sex gas. Not surprisingly, they won a prize and they
also were the favourite of the audience
Tenth Doctor - he won a
prize
In the break, when the jury decided who should be the winner, this little firl proved that she wants to be the new Eve Myles. She entertained the crowd with making all sorts of funny faces:
The Jury:
On Sunday, we went to
get our autographs first thing in the morning. While waiting for the stars to
arrive who were running a bit late, we chatted with one of the volunteers. He
told us a fun story about another Starfury convention which was madness. As
soon as he would stop walking just to catch his breath, a line would form
behind him and then people would ask: “What are we queuing for?” – “Don’t know,
I am just standing here!” LOL
When we finally were
allowed into the room, as a nice extra we got a Torchwood poster which you
could use to get signed. I always let the pictures I take with them signed
though and got some funny comments about the poses.
Then it was time for the
“Lust for Love” screening. Before and after Dichen talked a bit about the
movie.
Poor girl was so cold,
she was wearing her coat on stage.
Soon it was time for Kai
Owen’s panel.
He had been given a solo
panel but at the meet and greet Gareth had announced that he planned to crash
it, and so Kai was only on stage alone for five minutes or so before Gareth
arrived. The two guys together were also very funny. They all play so well off of
each other, with one having a thought and the other finishing it. You’ll see
soon what I mean.
Each had a beer in their
hand – Kai in a glass, Gareth drank straight from the bottle – and after an
Austrian girl had invited them to some famous beer festival in her hometown,
there was a lot of beer talk.
No matter what the question was, they would
always return to it LOL So, someone would ask a question, and one of them would
start to reply, but the other interrupted with: “…. is also a nice beer.” And then
the other would agree and so on. It was hilarious.
Several questions also
were about what they would like to see in a Torchwood season 5.
Naoko was sitting
somewhere in the audience as well, and always cleared her throat very loudly
since for some reason they forgot to mention Tosh while listing all the
characteres they wanted to see back ;)
Later she also told us
that she would love to play an evil twin of Tosh or maybe her from an alternate
reality, anything to bring the character back. She also had enjoyed that one
episode “Adam” where she played her a bit differently. So, “Tosh with
cleavage”, that’s what she would like to play.
Kai and Gareth also dissed
PC Andy a lot ;) Tom Price was not there so could not defend himself against
all the accusations. I don’t remember anything specifically, but they told
about all sorts of stuff they would do for the fans and then: “Tom Price would
never do that.” LOL
And then there was the
girl that thought it was a good idea to have Jack pregnant in the first episode
of season 5. After all, in the pilot he mentioned that he once was, so it
should be possible.
Kai and Gareth liked the idea as well, and the next thing
we saw was them acting out the scene. Kai sat onto the chairs with his legs
wide open, and Gareth crouched under the chairs and then came out with a
“Ta-daaa! Ianto has been reborn!” We roared with laughter.
Gareth’s comment? “I was
born out of John Barrowman’s arse – it was an easy ride.”
Also about Torchwood in
50 years: “We’ll all look like the Face of Boe, except Barrowman, he’ll still
look the same!” Who needs enemies when he has such friends? LOL
Later Naoko went onto
stage as it was her time, and both guys got up and left through the door at the
side. Poor Naoko looked after them: “Don’t leave me alone!”
But they probably had
more important things to do. But before they left, Gareth told the audience to
not ask Naoko any questions about Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Children of
Earth, Miracle Day or the TARDIS. Then he was gone.
But in the end, Naoko on
her own was lovely as well, and she has had some interesting projects recently,
like the one about the Mount Everest.
Suddenly, you could hear
a very posh voice ask:
"In the fantasy adventure series Harry Potter which
of the Hogwarts teachers would you be?"
Every head turned, and
who was standing at the microphone? Gareth! LOL
And he kept asking questions
about Game of Thrones and Miracle Day and in the end complained that none of
his questions had been answered and he wanted his money back.
He had waited in line
like everyone else, I already had spotted him well before he reached the
microphone:
Later
he was also joined by Kai there:
Then Kai took pity on
Naoko and joined her on stage.
And he teased her all the time.
When someone
wanted to know what they would do if they had only 24 hours to live, Naoko
said: “Punch Kai Owen!” and he replied that she would then die because of that
LOL
In the end she got her
wish though, and he presented his backside for her to punch, and she did but
immediately apologized and asked if she had hurt him and he acted as if he was
REALLY hurting and sat down onto the chair very carefully with a scrunched face
LOL
Also, this funny guy
from “Avenue Q” suddenly showed up and talked with Naoko and even sang a song:
Then this hour was also
over, and technically it was now Eve’s and Gareth’s panel.
But Kai only shortly
left the stage and then came back, and they all spotted Naoko down in the
audience again and asked: “What are you doing down there? Come up!” and so we
were treated to a panel with all four of them together on stage.
To hell with
the schedule.
By now Sean just let them do whatever they wanted – as that’s
what they did anyway LOL
So, if one of them is
already funny, and two of them together almost unbearable, you can imagine what
happens if that multiplies again. I have no idea how exactly it happened but
somehow everyone had ended up with a beverage, and a sort of game started. One
of them would say a sentence like “I have never been in a dark corner with John
Barrowman’s balls” or “I have never been touched in places by John Barrowman’s
and didn’t enjoy it” and then everyone for whom it was a lie had to drink. I
can tell you, they drank a lot ;) It was really funny to see how sometimes all
lifted the glasses at once.
Other important things
we learnt in this hour was the most embarrassing thing that has happened to
them. Kai Owen once got sick over someone, he really puked at him. Naoko said
she was good at “tripping over nothing”.
Another question was
with which TV series Torchwood could do a crossover. Some very good ideas
there, like “X-files”, “Warehouse 13”, “Being Human”.
The PC Andy dissing
continued as well. Apparently both Gareth and Naoko had no idea that he had
been in “Miracle Day” ;) Whenever this last season was discussed by those that
were actually in it, like Kai and Eve, Gareth and Naoko pretended to be bored:
Eve also told the story
how they asked her if she could ride a bike and she said yes, never having
ridden one. She learnt it in half an hour, telling them that she was not
familiar with this very model and if they please could show it to her ;) Then
she went and did that scene where she blows up the ovens.
Kai also was impressed
by that scene from the first episode, at the beach, and he actually was proud
that the beautiful Welsh coast would feature there so heavily.
John was driving
the car himself when they were chased by the helicopter, he did not let any
stuntman do it.
And it was so freezing cold that they had to kept checked for
hypothermia actually. The famous scene when Gwen fires the rocket and says
“Torchwood!” her lips were so frozen that only “Twwd” came out ;)
They also told the
famous story from the pilot again, Eve and John alone in a hospital, being
bored and somehow they ended up photographing his balls and then sent the
picture down the tube mail. It ended up in the maternity ward. They actually
sent it back with some words added, that it was a nice picture and “come visit
us soon” ;)
To go to the Torchwood
set they had to go through the TARDIS all the time. Nice way to work!
What would Eve do if one
morning she woke up as a man? “Call John
Barrowman!”
At one time Naoko
sighed: “Now you see what I had to put up with all the time!” Poor girl LOL
I also have a quote I
have no idea whom it belongs to, but could be Naoko as well: “If you are
involved with a character in a TV show it means you get more lines.”
They also played the
birth scene again, this time with Naoko as the midwife. Kai was calling for Eve
to hold his hand, but she just stood at the side, shaking her head ;)
They also had given a
lot of thoughts about how the series could come back. Apparently none of them
is ready to let it go yet. Kai wants it to get back to Cardiff, and reassemble
the Hub somehow. Loud cheers from us. And they want PC Andy to die and Jack
sings “My Heart will go on” at his funeral ;)
And Kai had the idea
that we all should write the first episode for season 5, and send the script in
to his page. Next year they would try to get the whole gang together and they
would read the best scripts on stage. If you want to participate, send your
stories to webmaster@kaiowen.com
Then it was time for the
closing ceremony. Sean said that with other fandoms, as soon as they are off
the air the fans go away but with “Torchwood”, even so many years later, the
fandom is still strong.
One by one they came
onto the stage again and gave us a last word of advice. Gareth’s was: “Don’t
buy the Torchwood set props at online auctions. You have no idea what John
Barrowman did to these. He humped everything.”
Naoko promised that till
next year she will read Harry Potter.
Oh, and as for this
Hollywood convention? In the end, John was only there on Saturday, as he had
unexpected work to prepare on Sunday.
Which is interesting, as I guess I never
pictured him to actually sit down and learn his lines. Which he surely does like
every other actor. I probably expected him to just show up at the set and know
them magically LOL
But no, he had to leave
the con and go back home to do his homework. So, in the end, I think we got the
better deal.
But I definitely look
forward to next year and hopefully the complete team on stage together! I might
die laughing then, but at least it will be a happy death.
To read the full report follow the links below
