Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Reviews: Something Borrowed by DJ Forrest

Torchwood Review

Something Borrowed


DJ Forrest

It’s the biggest day of your life, you’re getting wed to Gwen Cooper, police woman extraordinaire who now works for some underground alien outfit known as Torchwood, which keeps your fiancée out till all hours, even the night before your big day, and now to cap it all, you’re the last person to find out that she is PREGNANT!
The question that has to be asked is – who’s the father and more to the point, why Jack bleedin’ Harkness is always around – is there something goin’ on here?

Of course, there always would be something going on, wouldn’t there? Those furtive glances across the work stations, those secret meetings after dark, that underground lair where you met the whole team, where you felt a little bit threatened by the good looking American with the perfect white teeth and how you hope that he’s gay, just so you can ease up on the worry, because Gwen see, Gwen is the love of your life, and woebetide anyone going within three feet of her.
Yet there are those who have, such as Owen Harper, which you’ll never remember because during her guilt ridden confession, she’d laced your whisky with Retcon, and she knows how safe she is because, unlike her, your brain is filled with pints of beer, the footie and a night out with the lads after work.  You don’t have to think about the aliens parading in the streets after dark, ensnaring young victims into their underground lairs, and you don’t know what Gwen gets up to but you imagine it’s in a nice warm office, not in the back of the SUV charging after a blowfish in a sports car.  So you’re not expecting to see your wife to be nearly full term pregnant with the mother of the offspring waiting at the wedding reception ready to rip it from her stomach, dead or alive!

Gwen’s life with Torchwood has been interesting from day one, and following her life through series 1 & 2, talk of her big day has been a bit of a thing throughout, the boyfriend Rhys, the fiancé Rhys, the big love of your life about to tie the knot in a big fancy reception where the rellies from both sides and the friends, and the DJ Mervyn, and Colin Davies aka Banana Boat, and Carrie, not the one covered in pigs blood burning the school gym hall down in a demonic act of vengeance, but Carrie who was unfortunate enough to meet with a Nostrovite female awaiting the arrival of her offspring, did I miss anyone out?

There are many great moments from this episode, none more so than Ianto standing in the wedding shop picking out a dress to cover the bump that Gwen is now displaying.  It’s too comical for words but it’s predictable to a point. 

There’s the showdown with the Nostrovite taking the shape of Brenda Williams (Nerys Hughes) who I have to say scared the hell out of me more than the guest Carrie. 

To be honest, the scene where the Nostrovite takes on the shape of Jack Harkness has to be the funniest scene ever.  When he rises from the bed after being shot by Owen, and comes over to him, all I see is John Travolta.  No offence John!

Something Borrowed had something for everyone.  That moment of closeness between Jack and Gwen, or Nostrovite Jack with Gwen, but just for a moment you hoped they’d really give into their feelings for each other…

There’s Owen who after breaking his finger in the last story is unable to use the Singularity Scalpel and teaches Rhys the controls, which almost do more damage than good on his first outing. 

There’s Tosh and Banana Boat, stuck together in a web of thick black stuff to be eaten much later – if they’re not released in time. 

Then there’s Gwen, with her gun in her bouquet pumping bullets into Nostrovite Nerys!  Just what every girl about to get married should carry in her bouquet!!!

Oh and not forgetting Ianto Jones, and the best quote of the night regarding the clean up fairy.  In all honesty, this episode is by far the least scariest, but the best fun, and leads us ever closer to the end of the 2nd series, with only 4 more episodes left. 

At the end of the episode as Jack blows confetti from his hand into the Hub, a photo is lifted from a tin in his drawer, a photo of Jack seated and a bride from the Victorian era – just who is she and will the stories of Jack’s past on Earth ever be fully revealed?

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