Hello. I'm Doctor Owen Harper and I'm here to tell you about Weevil Capture Safety Protocols.
No, I'm joking. Come in and sit down, you're letting a draft in.
November has been a busy month around here. We've had quite a lot to deal with, really. I'm rather busy at the moment, as you can see. Jack's got me doing inventory for not just the medical supplies but for the general office nonsense as well. That's not my job, it's Ianto's or maybe Tosh's. But that's not what you're interested in. I can tell. Your eyes just glazed over.
It's time to do fanvideo reviews again.
Can I just---before we get started---say how disgusted and freaked out I am by the idea that Tosh read my thoughts? I'm not usually bothered by nudity, but there's something wrong with being able to see the mind of other people, like you're peeking at their naked self, the part never shared. Still, I wonder what it was like. I should've known something was up. She was acting stranger than usual. I'll admit, if I hadn't been so wrapped up in Gwen's---well, just Gwen, really---I would've realized Tosh wasn't acting like her usual self.
It was a wake-up call, I believe.
Okay. Right. Let's begin.
But, let me explain the process first. In case you're just now joining us.
Fanmade videos are a form of art like paintings, sketches, and fanfiction. They may be only tributes to a character, a movie, or an episode, but they can also tell a story within the mix of lyrics, dialogue, and imagery. Sometimes, those stories are time capsules which create a sort of portrait, but there are other fanvids which tell unique stories of their own.
Each month, starting with September, we have published five videos found on Youtube (and other places) which either encapsulate the month's featured episode, is a tribute to the team or a character or a relationship, or stand as a sort of video fanfiction. During the month, we post twelve fanvids to the Project: Torchwood Facebook page (and sometimes to my tumblr dashboard, thoughtfully tagged #project torchwood) and you, as readers, can vote on the ones you think should make the final cut. Vote on every one of them if you like, no one minds, but please do vote. If you have comments about the fanvid, have at it---your words are valued. Well, valued as much as anyone values words around here.
Torchwood - Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Ianto
song: Tata Young
I never wanted to know what you thought of Ianto. Really. But, it gave me a laugh. I personally find the song annoying. It's the sorta drivel that teenage girls listen to. Maybe they think it's empowering. It's crap. But. And that's a very big one. Like Gwen's. But, the video is funny as it shows all the little moments where Ianto Jones shines as a snarky metrosexual robot. There, I've said it. The video quality isn't perfect---and you want a perfectly clear video for watching facial expressions---but the entire package is a very well done look at the teaboy. If you like that sort of thing.
Toshiko Sato -One of these mornings
It's a miserable experience, honestly. I warned Tosh to be careful, that I didn't want to see her get hurt this way. She looked so happy with Tommy and I didn't want her thinking I was trying to say something that was never even on my mind, but there is something genuinely beautiful in her face when she's in love. Sometimes, I wonder what it'd be like to see that look more often---all the time, even. She's open in love and Tosh never looks better than when she's ferociously involved. It hurt, too, seeing her get wounded the same way I did with Diane. This video is my favorite for the entire competition. Thought you should know that. This song is very appropriate for the story that it tells and the quality of the video itself is flawless. This is one you should memorize and then keep close.
Gwen & Jack "One More Moment"
by Robin Stinson
artist: Mindy Smith
Okay, so I'm not a fan of the Gwen/Jack ship. Seems to me that while it makes for a good story, because romance is considered to be part of every story, the attraction between Gwen and Jack is one of both sexual chemistry and hero worship, and there's nothing I find more annoying than hero worship when it's mixed with googly eyes. Well, if I'm honest, it's the hero worship thing. I never could get that. The video, however, is fantastic. It's well put together; perfectly so, in fact. It made me grin a lot, honestly. No, honestly. It did. You should definitely check it out and if you find more by this artist, pass them along. We'll call it our little secret.
Torchwood - Hot N' Cold
song: Katy Perry
If this is a Janto video, it's not in focus. It diverges so often from its topic that you could forget that it's supposed to be about the relationship between our fearless leader and his bit of fluff. There's a lot of Jack and Ianto, but it seems to be showing that Jack can't be trusted in a relationship. But, then I'd say that about Jack and anyone. No, really, I would. The things we see out of Jack doesn't suggest he'd be a good partner for anything but the occasional pub-crawl. If you can get him to play wingman for you. How could you lose with that? Off-topic. The video is clear and crisp and smooth in transition and moves with the rhythm of the song---how's that? Better?
Torchwood Toshiko and Mary 'Secret'
song: The Pierces
I shouldn't like this, but I'll tell you another secret. I agree that it should be the winner for this month. Its flow and story encapsulates the situation perfectly well, showing the darkness of how easily a person can walk into quicksand in pursuit of the offered kiss. Okay, so I'm a sucker for unconventional relationships and the grittiness of this is attractive. I still don't think any of it was any good for us, as a team, or for Tosh, as a woman. Still, Gwen might have a point. Tosh glows when she's in love. You should go check this video out immediately.
Take your coffee with you. I don't need help cluttering up this place.